Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Gaby, Dec 30, 2022.

  1. Gaby

    Gaby Member

    Anyone else is finding it hard after 5 years without your beloved spouse.
    I miss our conversations, playing cards, his sense of humour….which I really needed. He made me laugh. I used to tell this as a joke, « but I need to keep you, you make me laugh »
    Gosh I need to laugh again. If anyone out there just wants to chat.
    call me Gaby or Gabrielle
    Gary166, DEB321, Rose69 and 1 other person like this.
  2. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Gaby, I was about to go to bed at 10pm,
    my time, on the northern coast of
    Massachusetts, and wanted to reply to
    your post. My wife , Linda, died
    suddenly , in front of me, 4 years ago.
    She was 68. We were married 25 years,
    no children. May I ask your husband's
    name? I find it helps me mourn Linda
    by saying her name on Grief in Common.
    May I ask, also , in what country you live?
    Rose lives in Italy, but everyone else, so
    far, have lived all over the United
    States. I'm the only one in Massachusetts.
    I cry every morning , bc I miss Linda,
    like you miss your husband. When I
    walk outside in nature, in the sun, and
    see friends, I feel better. Lou
    Gary166, DEB321 and Rose69 like this.
  3. Gaby

    Gaby Member

    Thank you for responding Van. I understand your grief. My husband passed away suddenly 5 years. It was his day odd. We chatted and had coffee in the morning, gave each other a nice hug and I walked to work. When I was walking back home, so excited to see him (ya I know bizarre after 42 years of marriage) I called his name, « Norm, I’m home » … no response….I found him on the bathroom floor.
    So I lost my spuse suddenly too, he was 63. Very unexpected, even to his Dr.
    I agree it helps me to mention Norm’s name. What did Linda die of?
    I am from southern Manitoba, Canada. I feel better when I can chat with someone who understands.
    cjpines, Gary166, DEB321 and 2 others like this.
  4. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    Hello! I think as time passes things get harder on some days instead of better. Its been almost 3 years since losing my sweetie (Gant). I agree i.miss everything about the good days and the bad. I'd give anything to.see that smile again. I've seen him smile in my dreams a few times that made me feel like this was just a nightmare but reality hit when I woke up. Our kids is my motivation. Even though sometimes I'm sad when I do things with them because I know he'd do them with us if he was here. I think that we'll continue to get stronger with each passing day and the memories will bring us joy.
    cjpines, Gary166, DEB321 and 2 others like this.
  5. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Gaby, Woke up around 5am , my time. As
    usual, the 1st thing I do , is to see if any
    members on GIC replied to me after I
    went to sleep. I was pleased to see both
    you & Janiceanne. Thank you for telling
    us Norm's name & that you live in Canada.
    My wife, Linda, went into the hospital for
    breast cancer & severe pain in her back.
    She was transferred to a rehab unit , for
    physical therapy, in a nursing home. By
    this time, she had been sedentary, was
    overweight, had Diabetes 2, and was
    depressed. In retrospect, Linda was
    doomed. Unlike me , with a happy
    childhood, and positive outlook, Linda
    had an unhappy one, & negative outlook
    in regard to most people. One day, to my
    horror, Linda collapsed in front of me.
    We did speak, but I rushed to get nurses
    to help. She died soon after, from,a
    pulmonary embolism. Her favorite nurse
    told me that as horrible as it was, it was
    quick, and she didn't have to linger, in
    pain, for an uncertain future. However,I
    had to check into a psychiatric unit for
    my PTSD, bc I couldn't get my last image
    of her out of my mind, & couldn't sleep.
    Upon discharge, I saw a grief counselor.
    She suggested GIC, which I joined in July
    of 2021. I chose the user name of Van
    Gogh, after the tortured painter, bc I was
    a tortured soul, as well. My name is Lou.
    My younger brothers, Gary & George, on
    GIC, call me The Godfather, as in the
    movie, jokingly. I consider myself a
    researcher,& people person, who makes
    connections & reviews history. I see by
    your previous posts, that you talked with
    my good friend, Deb, about your age, in
    S.C. back in March. There are 3 other
    widows in South Carolina: Patti, Helena,
    and our newest, Janiceanne. I look
    forward to seeing your posts. Like Rose
    in Italy, I know we're in different time
    zones. Lou
  6. Janiceanne

    Janiceanne Guest

    Gaby, I am so sorry for your loss. It is a heartbreak to loose the one you love and trust. My husband, Tom, died from Melanoma . After an attempted surgery and immunotherapy, which gave him type I diabetes, nothing could stop it's spread. He was at home with me until the last four days when I was unable to control the pain with the meds they provided through Hospice. He died in September shortly after going to the inpatient Hospice House. I miss him everyday and cry over a song, smell, sunset and sometimes just because. The New Year is here and it will be a lonely difficult road to walk.

    I appreciate this group and the support that everyone gives so unselfishly. We are all hurting and we all are here for each other. It is really so special. Thank you everyone and I send much love and many hugs.
  7. BGreene

    BGreene Member

    Hi Gaby: Lost my wife just over two years ago to brain cancer. 16 years of it. There isn't a day that goes by I don't feel the way you do. It's hard, and although I deal with it better than I did, her passing has changed my life, the way I look at things, how I feel about every little thing. There's a chat room here, with several of us who hang out - usually in the morning from about 7:30 to 9:30. It's a good group, and you'd fit in. We do laugh, and we cry, and we talk it out. Consider joining us if you can. It's not a clique. Dive in, please.
    cjpines, Gary166 and Van Gogh like this.
  8. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Long time, no see, Bill. Good to see a
    fellow widower on here again, besides
    my younger brothers, Gary, George, and
    Chad. Thanks for welcoming back
    Gaby. Lou
    Gary166 likes this.