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Broken heart

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Charlene W, Aug 12, 2021.

  1. Charlene W

    Charlene W New Member

    It's been 7 months now, does your broken heart ever stop hurting?
     
  2. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    ITS BEEN 9 MONTHS SINCE MY HUSBAND DIED AND I CAN SAY MY HEART IS STILL BROKEN. TRYING TO PLOW THROUGH GRIEF AND ITS NOT EASY.

    THEY SAY IN TIME THINGS WILL GET BETTER, I'M WAITING, MAYBE 9 MONTHS IS TOO SOON AND FOR YOU TOO.

    LETS SEE WHAT OTHERS SAY. SENDING BLESSINGS TO YOU. KAREN
     
  3. SusanMc8

    SusanMc8 Well-Known Member

     
  4. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    My husband died four months ago yesterday, at 3:45 a.m. I miss him more and more with each passing day (if this is even possible.) I have frequent grief bursts, it seems like everything is an emotional trigger. Just as in the very beginning of my grief journey, it doesn't matter whether the memories are happy or sad, each memory has me in uncontrollable tears. As I've said so many times before, I wish I could find an off switch for my brain. Grieving is physically and emotionally exhausting. It would suck all of the life right out of me if I let it.

    I spent most of yesterday on the phone, talking to close friends from "home." I needed to be surrounded by people who knew my husband before he got sick, who knew him for the person who he was, before disease and illness invaded his body... but, this wasn't possible. I dreaded being alone, and lonely, so I called old friends, from "home." Although I was still alone in my house, I wasn't as lonely. I made it through yesterday.

    Four months into this miserable grief journey, the world just seems like a very dark and scary place without the one love of my life, my husband, my "person, here, with me. I have to believe that someday, I'll reach the end of this miserable journey. I know life will never be the same, and although I will always love my husband with all my heart, I will be able to move forward. I hope I will find my purpose in life, contentment, happiness (not sure what this new kind of happiness will look like, or if it's possible, but I have to hope it is), and peace. My husband would want this for me. He is the reason I wake up each morning and find something to be grateful for, no matter how small it is, get out of bed, get dressed, and tackle each day the very best I can. I want him to be proud of me.

    While I think I'm making a little progress in my grief journey, I don't think I'll ever feel like my heart hasn't been ripped in half. I hope, that in time, I will be able to find my way to the end of this miserable path, and when I reach it, there will be more smiles than tears, whenever I think about my husband. I pray for this for all of us.

    Sending you lots of hugs, wishing you peace, wishing all of us peace.
     
    Marcey, cjpines and Patti 61 like this.
  5. SusanMc8

    SusanMc8 Well-Known Member

    It’s been almost seven months also since my husband died. Every so often I feel like that the grieving is letting up a little and then I hear a song or have a memory and I’m back to square one - it is so painful - I want to move forward but move forward to where? I am going out a lot, joining groups and trying to help people in the same situation - my life feels like I’m just going through the motions
     
    DEB321 and cjpines like this.
  6. MDGinVA

    MDGinVA Active Member

    It’s been a year for me. My heart still hurts.
     
  7. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss... I wish there were words to let you know how truly sorry I am.

    There is no escaping from grief. Grief follows us wherever we go, and hits us hard, sometimes when we least expect it. Memories constantly pop in and out of my head. Whether they're happy or sad, all of them have me in tears. Life, for me, is like a never ending roller coaster ride with way too many downs, and not enough ups. I'm trying so hard to move forward, find my purpose again, now that my husband isn't here to share life with me. He wanted more than anything else, to be as he always said, "on the right side of the dirt." He found something to be grateful for every day, no matter how much pain he was in. There are moments when I feel guilty that I'm miserable, and still here, and my husband, who wanted more than anything else to be here, is no longer here. He is the reason I get up every morning and keep trying to move forward, although, like you, I'm not sure, as you put it, "to where?" I want my husband to be proud of me. He is the reason I'm trying as hard as I can to find my way through this miserable rocky path, stumbling often, but always picking myself back up, dusting myself off, and trying again. As another member said, our grief will always be with us, but we will grow around it. I need to believe this.

    Sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace.
     
  8. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. The words seem so shallow, but they're all we have. Just know I truly am sorry.

    I'm sorry I have to "meet" you under these circumstances, but I'm glad I'm surrounded by people who truly understand the total heartbreak of losing someone who you loved, still love, with all your heart. We are here for each other, and we will somehow, get through this together.

    Sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace.
     
    MDGinVA likes this.
  9. MSgtKel5J071

    MSgtKel5J071 Member

    It's been almost 14 months since I lost my second wife (lost my first wife November 2000) and it has been a rough journey.

    I thought it would be easier this time around since I'd lost a spouse once already and "knew the drill." It's been worse -- A LOT worse.

    The good news is I feel like I'm turning the corner. I didn't do anything for Thanksgiving or Christmas last year (sat at home and didn't get out of bed either day) but this year I'm actually looking forward to having the family over for a non-traditional Thanksgiving and decorating the house for Christmas -- even though I'm betting there will be some rough moments...

    BOTTOM LINE: You don't ever get over it, but you can get through it. You'll always have moments of loss, sadness, loneliness, etc., but over time those moments become fewer and farther between. It is possible to get through and come out the other side stronger and happy again.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.
     
    Marcey likes this.
  10. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    Charlene, this is Karen, Cj Pines. It will be 1 year Nov 4th since Jack died and for me my heart is still broken, in fact I seem to grieve more now than at first. I think it's the anniversary coming up is why I'm reliving every moment of his last days. Our kids want to have another celebration of his life and I'm nervous about it. It will be so painful and there is no way I can fake it in front of them. Half of me went with him and the other half I have no idea what to do with myself. I'm not whole as non of us are, we've been split in half. I guess we have to keep plowing on through this horrible journey. Take care, karen