Broken by the loss of my 3 month old baby boy

Discussion in 'Loss of Child' started by Shanj, Oct 25, 2021.

  1. Shanj

    Shanj New Member

    Exactly a month to this day I lost my second born my beautiful baby boy Luka who would have been 4 months, we were in a car accident on Sep 24,2021 and he got injured they tried to operate on him on Sep 25,2021 the op was 5 hours long when they were closing up ,my baby had heart failure... I am not coping ,I'm seeing a psychologist but I am still not coping with the loss and the pain that runs so deep ,my heart is shattered and I'm looking for people who can relate to me because I feel so alone,my husband is busy at work during the day so his mine atleast is occupied, while I once I drop my 5 year old at school have time to sit and think and dwell on what has happened until my 5year old comes home from school. I feel so broken and so lost without my beautiful baby,I pray for strength and comfort but it's so hard
    Chris M 2000 likes this.
  2. Shirley09

    Shirley09 Well-Known Member

    Im so sorry to hear about your baby boy. I too lost my 11 yr old son in an accident we we were in. They operated on him too but he only lasted a day. I feel so empty, lost, angry, alone. He was my strength my everything. Tomorrow marks 6 months but it still feels like yesteday.
  3. Shanj

    Shanj New Member

    I'm so sorry to hear that,it's so painful... I look at his pics and vids and it breaks me,I pray,cry,I'm just trying to trust God to carry me through this....
    Chris M 2000 likes this.
  4. Shirley09

    Shirley09 Well-Known Member

    I know the feeling and it sucks that we have to be in this situation.
  5. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    I promise you God will carry you through this situation. We lost our 28 year old son to suicide and if it were not for God I would not have made it this far.
    I was completed devastated and completely dysfunctional. The first time I made a grilled cheese sandwich, I remember standing in the middle of the kitchen trying to remember what I needed to do first. This kind of grief completely takes over your mind. It is absolutely so hard to even think. It completely occupies your thinking every minute of every day. It seems there is absolutely no way you can get through even one day. My counselor asked my husband and I what we would see ourselves doing in ten years from now since my whole life was wrapped up in supporting our mentally tormented son. I thought to myself, "This man must be crazy. I cannot even get through one more day and he is asking me about 10 years from now. I will be lucky to just get through this day." This just shows that anyone, no matter how well educated, simply cannot understand what a mother goes through when she loses a child.

    God said he would never give us more to handle than what we could bear, but that He would make a way of escape. I had a very strong faith before I lost my son, but I told God He must have been wrong about this, that I could not bear up under this unbearable pain and heaviness. But I found out God was not wrong-I was wrong. Unbelievably here I am now 20 years down the road and God has carried me the whole way. He has been my strength, my comforter, my healer, my encourager, my lifeline. He will be the same for you if you can just hold on long enough for it to happen. Grief is a walk, a long difficult walk, one we never could have conceived of until it happened to us. We never expected to be one of these grieving mothers, but now we are on the same difficult path-but we are not alone. We have God and we have each other. You can make it just as I did.
    I am here for you to support you in any way I can.
    I love and care about you. Stay in touch here.
  6. testadura44

    testadura44 New Member

    I am so sorry for your loss and completely understand your sadness and grief. How are you coping now?
    On Dec 6th, 2022, I witnessed the death of my beautiful, perfect 3 month old granddaughter in the ED of a small critical access hospital. She had been taken to the ED the day before and was diagnosed with RSV and sent home. Less than 12 hours later, my daughter took her back to the ED. While the doctor attempted to intubate her, her heart stopped. They managed to "resuscitate" her but the ET tube was not in her airway and her heart stopped again. We watched as they tried to resuscitate her for 3 long hours before finally stopping their efforts. While I am grieving the loss of my granddaughter, the more difficult thing has been watching my daughter go through this terrible tragedy. She is shattered and has no energy to seek help or counseling. It breaks my heart to see her so sad. She has two other daughters and a husband who are also struggling to come to terms with their grief. All I can do is be there for them as much as I can and encourage my daughter to seek help.
    Chris M 2000 likes this.
  7. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    What a tragic situation. This must be so hard for all of you to go through. Please take care of yourself, as this will take its toll on your body also.
    So very heartbreaking. I am sorry for your loss and for the difficult time your daughter and her family are going through.
    May God comfort and strengthen you all.
    Sending you hugs and love,
  8. Mkruby

    Mkruby New Member

    I am so so sorry to hear about your beautiful boy! I truly am. I also feel alone and it is so hard to feel that way. I don’t have family here where I live. I am divorced. I became disabled and because of that, I don’t have many friends.
    I lost my only son 2 months ago. He was shot by his wife. His father and I tried so hard to prevent this tragedy. I also see a counselor and I’ve been talking to a preacher. It seems as though nothing helps. I find myself wanting more and more to be with him. It’s unbearable how much I miss him.
    I have a daughter also. She lives across the country. I never hear from her. She is busy and no longer needs me. I love her dearly, but I can’t the pain either.
    My son was 31. He will soon have turned 32. I had such a hard time getting pregnant. I miscarried twice before I had him and one after. At one point during the pregnancy, I thought I was going to lose him also.
    I don’t know what to do anymore. I really am so sorry.