Boyfriend In College Committed Suicide Two Weeks Ago

Hello, my name is Amanda and I am a 20 year old college student in her junior year.
On Sept. the 21st, I received the worst news of my life when I walked up to my boyfriend's fraternity house to meet him that night, and I found cop cars there instead. I dropped to my knees when they told me he was gone; he was my best and only friend here in college, for I go to a school far from my home and parents.
He shot himself with a gun I don't even know how he got. I am so confused and angry at him...mostly still in shock.
I am wondering how to cope with my day-to-day and hopefully meet anyone who has suffered a similar loss such as this...so unexpected, sad, and just overall confusing...
This is the first time I have even discovered there were sites dedicated to people in such terrible grief such as this so it's so nice to see that I am not alone in this struggle. Please reach out if anyone wants to talk or make a new friend, I could really use one right now.

 

Hi Amanda,
I am a senior in college and I lost my boyfriend to suicide a month ago. I am also confused and angry, but I'm mostly just so lonely without him. It almost doesn't feel real sometimes because it was so unexpected. I would love to talk to you if possible.