Both parents 3 weeks apart

Discussion in 'Loss of Both Parents' started by Fege, Dec 2, 2018.

  1. Fege

    Fege New Member

    Hello, this is really difficult for me to write but I have recently lost both parents within a few weeks of each other! To say I'm devastated is an understatement. I lost my dad first after a short illness. We knew it was coming but didn't think it would happen so quick where he lasted just 2 weeks from diagnosis. He had been disabled for the past 9 years following a stroke and my mother had tirelessly cared for him and never really discussed how hard she found it. We were devastated when he passed away and I turned into full practical mode helping my mum sort through things and supporting her (although in typical mum fashion she hid her grief from us). I live a few hours away from home and I would leave super early in the mornings to spend the morning with my mum before driving home for the kids to come home from school, and phoned and/or messaged her on the days inbetween. So much so she told me off for spamming her with messages when I couldn't get through to her one day (she was on the phone with my sister). After my dad's death I wanted to bring her home with me and she refused as she needed to get used to being alone but would come to mine the begining of December (this week) to see me graduate as a midwife and spend Christmas before going to my sister in the new year! Then on Haloween afternoon I tried to phone her and there was no answer! Remembering my telling off I didn't spam her or panic, not until my sister contacted me in the evening where she hadn't got an answer all day! I contacted a friend to go check incase she was ill or had fallen (as she sprained her ankle the night my dad passed and was still hobbling) while I was on the phone with my friend she entered my mum's house and found her passed away in her bed with her dog beside her! I can't believe she's gone! She wasn't supposed to go yet! For the second time in 3 weeks I had to make the hardest calls of my life to tell my sister's our mum was dead! I want my mum back! I cry everyday especially when in the car or alone! I wake up and remember she's gone, things happen and for a second I think I'll text mum to tell her then I remember! Then I think of my dad! I feel guilty that in the weeks following his passing I was working through my grief and could rationalise the suffering he was in, and was making plans! Feeling sad but coping! But my mum has broken me! Standing in our childhood home for the last time, feeling all our memories, praying that she could give me a sign that she was still with me! I just don't know what to do!
  2. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    Very sorry to hear about losing your father and mother in such a short period. Something similar happened to my cousins; as my uncle and aunt went within two weeks of each other. I don’t have any advice except for seeing a counselor. Hopefully, others here can be of more help.