Blended Family Grieving

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by kempalayne, May 2, 2021.

  1. kempalayne

    kempalayne New Member

    My mother passed two weeks ago from breast cancer that metastasized to her brain. She lasted in hospice for 13 days and took her last breath the hour my younger son took his wedding vows to his new wife. I had been with her mostly during her hospital and hospice time but had prayed she would pass before the wedding. I had to leave her two days earlier (live 3 hours away) to get things ready for the wedding. My stepfather called 15 minutes after the wedding started. I wanted him to but hated that I was not there.

    My parents had been married for 30 years. I inherited a stepbrother the same age as me and a stepsister a few years younger. Once Mom went into hospice, us siblings worked together to help. Well, "help" to the best of our abilities. Before this, we hardly ever saw each other. We were all grown and out of the house by the time our parents married except for stepsister but she wasn't in their home long. The two siblings are like night and day. I'm more like the stepbrother in personality so it was easier to work together. My stepsister has a very dramatic and lively personality that constantly craves attention and approval from her father. She was truly there for her dad.
    I love my stepfather and get along with him for the most part. The whole month of April has been a whirlwind of driving back and forth, helping my stepfather, keeping up with other family members about Mom's status and dealing with my stepsiblings. Now that my Mom is gone, it feels as if the family is separated AGAIN. Both my mom and father had remarried twice therefore I know all too well about blended families and how when it ends...it ends. I hate it. It is also part of my grieving.
    Last Sunday, my stepfather and I had a heated argument and I left. We haven't spoken since. I have not spoken to either sibling also. I want to deal with my grief before talking with any of them. I have an appointment with a therapist this coming Monday.