Be Strong! Be Kind

I haven't pee'd in over 5 years... Howz that for TMI!!!! I couldn't resist responding to this. I need some silly cuz I'm doing really Sucky!

 

Oh, man, George. That's horrible. You
"win" the weird "contest" Wasn't sure if
you were following my "conversations"
with Deb & Robin this am. If we don't
laugh at ourselves, we'll cry, and we
certainly have enough of THAT. Lou

 

Thanks for your uncharastically SHORT
reply, Deb, before much needed coffee.
An older waitress, who reminded me of
Linda, when she had to waitress when
she was older, kept pouring me hot,
delicious coffee & catered to my GF
needs. Needless to say, I thought of
dear Linda, without crying this time, and
left a big tip. "Shoulder taps" video, as I
said before......... Lou

 

Deb, can't let you go without another
P.S.!! The Center for Loss quote today,
about the advantages of storytelling, as
part of our mourning process, is PERFECT
for both of us, today. I know I'm using a lot
of capital letters this am, when I'm the
most awake. It's cool and gray, so I'm
going to sit at a table in the Senior Center,
with my phone, until lunch! I'm grateful
for a warm, quiet place to sit, even though
I don't know anybody. Linda used to say
we were too young for the Center, but it
does have its' advantages today! Lou

 

I totally just want to be able to laugh. Sick of crying but I know I can never do that enough. I am still pretty confused about how all of this works out here on GIC; I mean the interface. I see alerts and click on them and I seem to have stuff to say!

Gotta be weird... After Valerie's Death I am clueless about most things lately!

 

It took me a while, and a desperate email
plea to the founder, Karyn Arnold, to get started. She advised that I follow
the "threads" and reply to emails, like
yours, just now. I use "alerts" as a short
cut, so I don't have to give all my info
again. As someone said to you, George,
"you can do it!" Lou

 

Today is just so plain HARD! I am in one of those modes where I just want to hate everything... I know it's irrational, but I'm just not doing good today... for now. These things are so up and down too!

 

P.P.S. !!! Now I know why Linda didn't
like the Senior Center. I'm way in the
corner of the cafeteria, trying to filter
out the constant babbling, about
nothing, from one woman, at a table of
mostly women. She's just non stop
complaining about trivia. Linda would've
said, " Put a sock in it!" and get me in trouble like she did at the senior apartment bldg we lived in, before she
went into the hospital. I thank God I
moved out, & even stayed at a winter
motel, before I came to my small town,
which I want to be my forever home. L

 

So sorry, George, about your really hard
day. As Deb, Robin, Cynde, and I often
say, we seem to be on an endless tilt
a whirl, of mourning and loneliness. I
felt an ache at the beginning of fall, bc
I know the shops , art museum, and
galleries will close on Halloween, for the
winter season. The first year I moved
here, I walked down our promenade, the
Neck, in February, and I felt like I was in
a early Twilight Zone episode, where I
was the only human around. It was not a
good feeling. Now I go to Plan B, and hop
on a bus, as a senior, to the nearby
larger city, for a change of scenery, and
for my sanity. Lou

 

Lou,

I'm so sorry, but this story made me laugh!!! I'm really sorry for laughing, but, and this is another one of those really BIG buts!!!, it's the way you said it!!! I totally "get" what you had to go through because I had to drive Bob to the ER way too many times for the same procedure. Backing up just a bit, on a much more serious note, I'm really sorry you had to go through this. I can't even begin to imagine how painful it was, and thankfully, this is one experience, I can honestly say, I'll NEVER have to experience.

This reminds me of a story that whenever Bob brought it up, the two of us would start laughing so hard, that tears would run down my face. I won't go into details here, but it involved a really long road trip, way too much caffeine, my very favorite "fur baby," and a secluded side road...

The weather is still miserable, short bursts of rain, those heavy torrential downpours, followed by brief periods of sun, then the rain hits again, etc. etc. etc... I'm still in that same "foggy" state I was in when I got up this morning. I think I might make some more coffee...

Hope your enjoying the afternoon...

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Lou,
I agree that Deb quoting my saying, which actually is a feeling with words trying to explain what it is. that is a nice compliment for sure. I’m also happy that my story of 50’s music and Ron some how getting the message on my phone, touched you in such a way. I can’t imagine how that happened but I saw it and heard all his favorite songs. Ron and I both love books, but put Ron in a book store and he’d stay for hours. He’s like you in that manner. Deb recommended Permission to mourn also. I have a couple books I’m reading now but I do plan to look into that one. You guys all recommend it so highly.
Hope you’re having a good day. Robin

 

Lou,

Just saw this, given my "foggy" state, I'm having trouble keeping up with messages. I love!!! today's Center For Loss Quote, especially the end of that last sentence, "having others bear witness to the telling of our unique stories is one way to go backward on the pathway to eventually going forward." Timing is everything in life, and this is "PERFECT," for us today, for so many of us here too.

TTYL...

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

It's perfectly OK that you laughed, Deb.
So sorry Bob had to go through that, too.
It is every man's worst nightmare. The
amusing thing is when one of the nurses
told me to relax! Really??!! The wise
female doctor had Plan B, to put me out.
Good move! I can just imagine Bob's side
of the road story. When I was in college.,
drinking a lot of beer, we anointed many
a field in the dark! Lou

 

You and I have a LOT of stories. Steven
thinks I should write a book about the
tales of my town, but I'd rather share
my stories with you. Lou

 

I have been writing my stories, at least to myself, for years. I'm kinda thrilled that someone might be interested. I know I'm totally fascinated and enthralled by reading posts here. Even if today is really getting away from me... And then there's the Dialysis Party later today! That's my change of scene for today.

 

Robin.

I've been thinking about you the entire day... I know you'll update us when you have news to share. For now, just lots more hugs for Teddy and you too...

Sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Lou,

Just saw this and you made me laugh again!! The nurses told Bob to relax too. Not only impossible, but totally ridiculous given the circumstances.... As you said, "Really??!!" sums it up perfectly. I know Bob would have something funny to say about your college days. What a strange day, I'm crying one minute, smiling the next, then laughing, back to crying... Where is that "off switch???!!!" It's crazy how Bob's death, brings back so many memories that were buried for so long... Grieving is both mentally and physically exhausting... I feel like I ran a marathon today.

 

Lou,

You could do both...

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Deb, I appreciate all your thoughts and hugs. Sadly I haven’t heard from my vet yet. She told me 48 hours on Saturday. I’m guessing the weekend doesn’t count. I worry I won’t hear until tomorrow. I will most definitely update you all as soon as I get the call. Hopefully with good news. Fingers crossed, Robin

 

Nice of you to say, but having been in
the book business, it's easier to self
publish than to go through rejections,
which is the last thing I need. Linda & I
used to talk about sending our true life
stories to a magazine, but we never did.
Frankly, a lot of our stories were from
bad times in our lives, and I didn't want
to repeat all that crap again. I just
received an unwanted issue of Reader's
Digest, and was struck by how lame,
repetitive, and unimaginative it's
become. Lou