Be Strong! Be Kind

Thank you Lou, I now use a cane all the time when I walk. Ron always helped me with so many things. Like helping me get up from sitting, in snd out of the car, tying my shoes. I’ve had to buy new shoes that slip on because some days it’s impossible for me to do. I’m so sorry you fell and caused you so much pain and discomfort. But sharing your loss of Linda with your therapist and her being so caring and kind must have felt so good. There still are good people in the world. And your pedicure, another special person. I think it’s wonderful that you’re being kind to yourself. I have some difficulty in that area. But I’m trying. I spend so much of my day taking care of our home and yard, things I’ve done and Ron wouldn’t let me do but it’s all my responsibility now. Today I’m expecting a call from the vet. I found a fatty tumor on my little dachshund Teddy and took him in. They took a sample and I’m praying for good results. I’m nervous. He was a gift from Ron and he’s my everything. He has to be ok.
Ron and I watched the Westminster dog shows too. Enjoy them so much and always rooted for the dachshunds. My daughter just got a dachshund puppy a couple months ago. We named him Slinky. He keeps active he’s so full of life. Hope your phone therapy goes well this morning and that you have a good day.

 

Lou,

I usually don't use my phone to come here, it's too hard for me to type on the small keypad, but this morning, after I thought about the things I'm grateful for, and checked the weather, before getting out of bed, I decided to drop by. As soon as I read the the name Linda's parents gave their dog, and how "Poopsie" wouldn't come to the two of you when you first started taking care of her, and you said, "I wonder why," I immediately started laughing. It was one of those really good laughs, that I'll never take for granted again, that don't happen enough any more. Thank you!!!, for getting the beginning of my day off to a good start.

Still sort of on the same subject, my very favorite "fur baby's" name was Breeze. Of course there is a story behind this. We had just lost one of our cats, he had cancer, Bob had to take him to be euthanized. (He was born in a dumpster near the naval air base where Bob was once stationed.) Our kids were heartbroken, but especially my youngest, my daughter. This cat had been her constant companion starting at birth. She was so upset she began drawing pictures of him, her "angel kitty," her words, in a bright blue sky, the sun always shining brightly on the top right corner of her drawings, our cat, her "angel kitty" sitting on a cloud....

One day she asked me if we could get another dog. I did some research, checked out some animal shelters, and found a puppy in need of a home. From what I was told about her, I had a feeling she would fit right into our family. The whole family went to pick her up on October 6th, many years ago. It was a very windy, fall day. The puppy had very fluffy, yellow and white fur. As we were getting in our mini van to take her home, the boys had already climbed into the back, my daughter was in the middle seat, and I was putting the puppy on her lap, the wind was blowing. My daughter said, a smile on her face, "she has very breezy hair." The name stuck. When we bought our boat, we named it the Autumn Breeze. Of course this made my daughter very happy too!!

I want to get a walk in, it looks like it's going to be a beautiful day, but another hot one, so stopping here for now. I just couldn't leave the house before thanking you for not only for getting me to laugh first thing in the morning, but for getting me to remember such a special day in my life. Now the memories from this day are bittersweet, as Robin would say, happy mixed with sad. My eyes are teary..., I remember this day as clearly as though it just happened yesterday.

Going to grab a tissue and put on my walking shoes. Be back later...

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

P.S. Of course, I had to smile again, when you mentioned that you're having your therapy session with a great guy named Bob.

 

Robin,

Just getting ready to leave here, go for my morning walk, and read about your "fur baby" Teddy. I know there is nothing I can do or say to make you feel any better while you're waiting for the call from the vet, but I totally "get it," when you said Teddy is your everything. I am here, hoping right along with you, that the phone call is a happy one!!!

Sending you extra hugs this morning, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Just found your posting,
I lost my husband Jack
to Parkinsons, I tell
myself every awakening
morning,
"God is my strength."
Finding Grief In Common
is helping me, lifting you
in prayer and my heartfelt
Condolences to you and
all others. Patti

 

Deb, I can’t thank you enough. I’m trying so hard to think positive and also be prepared just in case the news isn’t what I’m hoping for. I can’t even bear the thought of Teddy not being ok. He broke his toe during the spring of 2020 and they didn’t put a cast on but a good size wrap that went up the whole length of his leg. The tumor is where the wrap rubbed on him. And I was worried about it becoming an issue. And now here we are. I can’t help but think it has something to do with it. I read about your sweet
dog Breeze. And I see you have felt the mixed emotions of happy mixed with sad. I’m so sorry Breeze has found her way to Rainbow Bridge. But she’s healthy and running and playing and I’m sure has found. On and they’re watching over you.
I took Teddy Saturday morning and she said she’d have the results in 48 hours. Now I wonder if Saturday and Sunday counted. I hope so. Teddy seems fine thankfully.
Thank you again, enjoy your morning walk and fresh air. Robin

 

Thank you Patti! It is Monday morning (extra hard!) and reading things on GIC helps me find my strength. I offer you my own heartfelt sympathy, empathy and support. These losses are still so hard and it's is at least some comfort to realize I'm not alone!

 

That is so interesting to me cuz I just really don't feel much like eating! I have to watch my diet carefully cuz I don't have any kidneys... I so don't feel like eating anything big heavy and greasy anymore. I just crave crushed ice! I usually get up between 7 and 8 and I don't have much going on except trying to get out of the house and find a new place to live that's much more sensible! By 9pm I'm pretty useless and tired!

 

Robin,

Your heartfelt response has me teary eyed... Only people who truly love dogs, who have experienced the very special bond we have with our "furry" family members, can possibly understand the heartache, when it's time for a very much loved "furry" family member to find his/her way to Rainbow Bridge. I truly believe there is a very special place in heaven for dogs....

I understand what you mean when you say Teddy is your "everything." I can only imagine how difficult this is for you, especially because Teddy was a gift from Ron. I'm here with you in spirit, hoping that you get good news today... Give Teddy a big hug from me.

As always sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Just a quick hello, before therapy with
Bob! 11am today, instead of usual 10am.I knew you'd laugh about the "Poopsie"
story. Linda got her revenge against her
parents, by recounting that story to others,
who shook their heads, and grimaced.
What a sentimental mess I am. I cried
when your little daughter drew pictures
of "angel kitty". I cried again when your
daughter said your dog had breezy hair.
Thank you for telling me the dog's name,
a lot more thought went into it than
"Poopsie". It looks like Robin joined our
talk, so I will answer her after therapy.
It's rainy & dark here today ( it seems like
you & I are on different planets!). I hope
to go to the Shack. It'll be quiet, unlike
Friday. I'll joke with the bartender that
I'm still alive. He'll have some wise crack,
but it's good for me. The 2 Friday night
bartenders, 39, kid me that I'm "ancient",
and after I fell, they heard about it, and
asked, "So, Lou, did you have a nice trip?"
I told them I'd text my pal, a 75 year old
Navy Vietnam era vet, & fishing boat
captain, to come & join me. He's a hard
drinking, but funny guy, who likes to stay
'til closing, and bother the 2 guys when
they're trying to clean up! My pal, Lyle,
wants to take me to a dive to "pick up
chicks". I said, " I don't think so....", and
everybody, including hin, laughed. Lou

 

George, I'm so sorry about your kidneys,
and that you can't eat much. When Linda
was in the hospital, I sat with her, and
we had our meals on trays. The food was.
very good ( unlike at the rehab/nursing
home later). But, Linda would turn it
back. The doctor & nurses were concerned, but the only thing that
appealed to her were popsicles. That was
a great idea by a guy in dining services,
& we were very grateful. I guess you have
one main mission, which is to get a better
place to live. I know how important that
is. When Linda died, I'm so glad I moved,
with the help of a friend, for the small
stuff, and a moving van for the big stuff. L

 

Lou,

You just made me laugh again when you mentioned how Linda got her revenge against her parents. I really needed another laugh!! Tough walk, but won't go into it now.

Backing up just a bit, for Christmas, the same year we lost our cat, my daughter's teacher had all of her students make a Christmas ornament for their families. My daughter brought me home an absolutely adorable ornament, with a picture of our "angel kitty" sitting on a cloud, surrounded by a bright blue sky, and of course, just like in all of her other drawings, the sun was at the top right corner of it. It made me teary eyed when she handed it to me. I'm a sentimental mess too, because I just went from laughing to crying in a matter of seconds...

But, went right back to laughing when I read about all the interesting people at the Shack. I've got to get going. I have some things on my to do list I want to get done, but I think I'll make something for lunch first.

Looking forward to hearing about your soon to be adventures at the Shack.

Sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Thanks man! I so need something today! Last summer Valerie just wanted a lot of these Freezer Bar "Otter Pops!" we'd cut 'em in half and share them. My son who just came back after years on his own was so annoyed by the endless "Otter Pops" Now I don't ever get them... too sad! And he's pleased...

I truly groove to this sharing stories stuff Lou. Today can really suck but I really don't want it to. Just thinking and deciding about house stuff. TB isn't about yet Badgering about... making me anxious! Peace! Calm. Nothingness... BTW the times Valerie was in the H preKovid and I stayed a lot with her. She wouldn't let me stay the night much It was too hard with the kidney stuff and all. The food was actually good. She ate then. This was the time of her first surgery (summer 2019) and she was still herself! Sad...

 

Hi, Robin. Looks like you joined the
conversation I was having with our friend,
Deb. I just had a positive therapy session.
I tell him the events of the week, and
about my interactions with people, in
addition to my grief for Linda. I joked with
him, that I had to talk fast to get it all in
the "50 minute hour"! I will pray for
Teddy. As I told Deb,we had to give up
our mini poodle, for adoption, bc we were
in bad financial straits at the time. Linda
was heartbroken, bc the little dog had
bonded with her, & she was like her
child ( we didn't have any children). Well,
even though it's raining off & on, I'm
walking outside, with umbrella, bc I
try to get out every day. Hope you have a
good one. How often can you see Slinky?
Lou

 

George, I like our honest talks every day.
As I told Deb, you & I are a lot alike, and
Valerie and Linda were a lot alike, too. You
are more advanced than I am, with photos
on the Internet. I was surprised &
pleased to see you in a photo, and a
photo of the Field Museum. I was a little
confused ( as I often am). Was that a photo
of Valerie by the stone lion? If so, she was
very pretty. I had my weekly Mon phone
therapy session, to try to start the week
off right. The counseling isn't just about
grief, but also my interactions with
people, both strangers & friends. Right
after Linda died, I was hypersensitive, &
took everything personally. One of the
things in Tom Zuba's book & in his Ted
talk on YouTube, is to take NOTHING
personally! I like saying your name,
George, bc that was my father's name,
but we didn't get along, and, worse, didn't
like Linda. Needless to say, the love of my
life, Linda, came first, and we "eloped"----
in our mid- forties! Lou

 

Just had lunch myself, slow moving this
morning , Deb. I have to tell you a heartbreaking story about Linda toward
the end. I don't dwell on it now, but it was
part of my PTSD after she died. A local
animal shelter would bring puppies into
the nursing home recreation room, to cheer up the residents, who were older
than Linda, 70s to 90s. The 1st time,
Linda used her walker, instead of a
wheelchair, to walk down the hall to the
rec room. The nurses and PTs cheered
her on. We sat together, as the volunteers
from the shelter handed her a puppy. The
little dog looked up at Linda & licked her
cheek. I saw Linda cry. ( I think she was
thinking about our little dog we had to
give up). I thought how unfair and cruel
it was that we weren't able to have our
own dog. One morning, which turned
out to be Linda's last day on earth, we
were told that the puppies were coming
again. Linda was determined to see
them. She got on her wheelchair, from
her bed, with great difficulty. As she tried,
she fell, in a strange way, with her head
almost touching the floor. I asked her if
she needed help. She said, "I can't talk.
Get me a cold cloth. Push the button" ( to
get the nurses). The nurse was not at her
station. I ran down the hall to the rec room
in a panic, and yelled for help. Her
favorite nurse and others put Linda in
a sitting position on the floor. That turned
out to be the last time I saw her.The next
day, I called the favorite nurse to ask
what Linda's last words were. The nurse
said that after they seated her in the
wheelchair, they asked Linda if she
wanted a pillow. She nodded. When they
called her name, her lips turned blue &
she had a pulmonary embolism. As I told
you, Deb, when I saw Linda in that
unnatural position, I knew it was over &
sobbed uncontrollably. Both Linda's PT &
the recreational therapist hugged me. The
head of nursing escorted me to the
ambulance, which would speed behind
Linda's to the ER, where she was dead on
arrival. I was asked if I wanted to see
Linda's lifeless body, and I said no. As
horribly sad as it was, I wanted to recall
her talking to me at the end. Thank God
I didn't see her lips turn blue and die.It
was bad enough as it was. I saw Linda's
nurse, Alice, at a bar, & we hugged each
other. Alice became close to Linda & was
in shock herself, bc she was about the
same age. If you don't mind, I'm going
to take a break from talking about dogs,
bc Linda never got to see the puppies again, on her last physical day on earth.
Sorry to be such a "Gloomy Gus", as
Linda called me. This was my worst
story. I don't think about it much now.
Lou

 

She'd never let me take a picture of her. Did you go on my DA site...? https://www.deviantart.com/eyepilot13

 

Not sure about your site. I saw some of
your art work. The stone lion was outside
a museum. The woman must have been a
random stranger. But, I assumed that was
you, although I don't know who took the
photo! L

 

I know the Art Institute's famous for their Lions!

 

Deb, sorry to bring on the tears. But I believe our furry family members live on and can jump and run and play again. Be healthy and full of energy. And hopefully greet us when it’s our turn.
I don’t know if you believe in signs from our loved ones but on Saturday after our appointment, my daughter was with me driving and I was sitting with Teddy. I was trying to hold back tears and said to Stacey, my daughter. Teddy has never had a single health issue. And now this, I need Daddy(Ron) here to help me. At that moment we stopped at a traffic light and a beautiful monarch butterfly flew ever so slowly right over to our car and almost landed on it. Ron and I are nature lovers. And Ron loved butterflies and studied them. If I recall correctly. They don’t fly slow. This one glided to us. And both Stacey and I said omg! Daddy! He’s with us.
Teddy was a surprise, our first dachshund had pSsed and a year passed, I was ready for the sound of scampering feet. Ron enjoyed not being tied down and wasnt t sure.

 

Sorry that sent by mistake.
One day Ron says to me how do you feel about going in Petco? I wasn’t sure why we needed to go in. I said ok what are we looking for. And he said a book on training a dachshund! I could t believe my ears. He had found a dachshund and had a time set up for us to go meet him. And we got the book and met Teddy. Such a wonderful surprise. The vet didn’t call today. I’ll call her tomorrow if I don’t hear from her. I just need to know.
Thank you for hug for Ted and me. I need them today. And for your support and caring words.
Hoping for good news tomorrow Robin