Anyone from canada

Welcome, "Heyhoney" from the Ontario
area. As you can see, there are other
widows & widowers from your area, on
Grief in Common ( GIC). I'm deeply sorry
about the death of your dear husband, and
your young son before that. May I ask
your first name, and that of your husband?
My wife, Linda, died suddenly in front of
me, at 68. We were married 25 yrs, no
children. I was devastated, bc she was my
best ( & only ) friend and family. I had to
see a grief counselor. That was over 4 yrs
ago. She suggested GIC, but I didn't join
until end of July, 2021. I'm glad I did. I've
become close to DEB, Robin, and Karen,
to name a few. They all have pets, so, if
you do, you may want to reach out to
them. I also have 3 brothers here: Gary,
from Indiana, George, from Illinois, and
Chad, from Texas. I live on the northern
coast of Massachusetts. My user name is
Van Gogh, but my name is Lou.

 

Thank you for the welcome VanGogh. My name is Kelly although all through our years together my husband, Howie never used it. It was always Hey Honey. The only time he used my name I knew something was up or he was introducing me to someone. Funny how you don’t notice those little habits until they are gone. It sounds like loosing Linda was as much a shock as my loss was. It is reassuring to know you are finding your way down this path as I have only just begun.

 

Kelly, thank you so much for revealing your name, and Howie's. You can call me
Lou. I had used Van Gogh to get on this
site, bc I was a tortured soul like the
famous painter. Like him, I have manic
depression, which magnified my shock
over Linda's death. In a similar way to
your experience with Howie, Linda called
me Sweetie, from the first time we started
dating , until what would be her last days
with me on earth. When she called me
Lou, she was sad, or crying out to me from
another room, or introducing me to other
people. I had trouble calling her endearments, probably bc my own
parents didn't , and unlike us, had a
loveless marriage. In fact, both Linda's
parents and mine, didn't share in our
happiness, and we decided we didn't want
either set at our wedding. In our 40s, we
"eloped" to Las Vegas , and had our
wedding in an island chapel, with a
minister, and a photographer, as our
witness. We had our honeymoon there.
That is a sweet memory, but, in retrospect,
a lonely one, bc we had no friends, which
would be the case for the rest of Linda's
life. Lou

 

You paint a very vivid picture not unlike my own wedding. We had a simple backyard affair followed by an afternoon at the horse races. It’s was a way to meld two families who were polar opposites and allow those to attend to have something to do. At my husbands funeral, I stood alone. I did have my daughter and her family but most in attendance were her friends so she had good support. Not a single family member of mine attended. I had hoped for different as I had walked through fire for one sister when she became widowed suddenly years ago. For months afterward I drove many miles to just show up and help in anyway I could even if it was just to hold her when she cried. It was always Howie and I together facing day to day life. Without him it is indeed quiet

 

Kelly, let me say how good it is to "know"
you, bc we're on the same page, and "get
it" about people. I've become close with
Robin, in Long Island. Her dreary, gray,
cool temps at this time of year, like mine
in Massachusetts, can bring us down. I'm
also close with DEB, who lives in South
Carolina, but whose family used to live
in my state. Then, there's Karen, in
California. She was the first person to
welcome and comfort me when I joined
GIC. I tease DEB that she writes long,
compassionate "books" to other Grief
Warriors ( a term I use to describe us),
and Karen, who writes one liners,
packed with wisdom and humor. All of us
seem to have a good sense of humor, in
spite of our unbearable tragic losses of
our soulmates. Lou

 

Hi, I just joined also. In the KW area so close to you!

 

Hi SaltySoul yes so close! Sending you peaceful thoughts as we walk this path together. I’ve only just begun this journey, my husband passed at the end of February. There is a lot of good info here and some really kind people who get it. You are not alone

 

Hi Heyhoney,
Thank you for the lovely welcome and my heart goes out to you on the loss of your husband. I've lost my mom, dad and brother - most recent was my mom in 2019. We are definitely not alone in our jouney. Peace and light to you. X

 

I’m from southern Ontario. New to the site. Lost my truest love 10 days ago. I am totally lost.