Anniversaries, and Dates

Discussion in 'Loss of Sibling' started by MarioKiki, Apr 6, 2022.

  1. MarioKiki

    MarioKiki Member

    My sister died one year ago on 04.04. I've been in a funk for a few days now. It's weird how grief really does hit the body randomly. I thought I was "doing better", but I'm not unsure what that even means now. I stayed home from work on her actual anniversary. I've been at work yesterday, and today; it's been a semi-simple distraction. I'm unsure how to cope at this point. I feel so defeated again. I went through months of depression after her death, and I felt better, until I didn't. I'm trying to remember that I've been here before, and that I'll feel better with time. All we have left is time, right? I miss my sister every day, and I share this on here because I know it's a safe space. I'm fighting the urge to just stay in bed all day, and miss her. I'm trying to find the balance of how much to listen to my grief, and what's damaging me more than I realize. How do you deal with anniversaries? and birthdates? Do they get easier with time? I'd like to believe they do. I'd like to believe that one day I'll be at complete peace with my sister's death. Unfortunately, I haven't go to the, "it gets better" part.
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  2. Beeleaf

    Beeleaf Member

    MarioKiki I'm so sorry for your loss.
    I hope your heart is less heavy today.
    I lost one of my five younger brothers back in 2016, and recently I lost another brother suddenly, a few weeks ago.
    I hate when people say "it gets easier" as though they have been through what you have. Even if they've also experienced loss, everyone is different. I won't tell you it gets easier or you get stronger or any of that. All I can say is you do keep going.
    For me each birthday and anniversary (and holiday) did get more bittersweet than bitter, and I was able to move from devastation to a more fond remembering, even smiles, but the sadness is always there. Now I have a new sadness to compound it.
    I'm right there with you with wondering how much to dive into the grief, and whether it's unhealthy to keep exploring all that. Sometimes it's a blessing to not have the time to grieve. We still have jobs and homes and family to take care of, after all.
    Please message me anytime if you like. My heart goes out to you at this difficult time.
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