a year later and i dont think i can

Helena, it does my heart good to see you
& others reach out to welcome and
comfort Susan and Jeanne, like we were
welcomed to this wonderful kind GIC
site. Thank you. You are a true Grief
Warrior ( GW). It was also great to hear
from Alex earlier. She has been "listening"
to us, but not always up for posting. Lou

 

Hello Susan,

My name is Chad. I lost my wife, love of my life and best friend last October. She was 39. We had been married almost 9 years. I completely understand how you feel. This is by far the hardest thing I have had to deal with. Some days my goal is to just keep breathing. Glad you found this site. I've been away for a bit but everyone here has really helped me. We may only be an online group of friends, but you aren't alone here.

Chad

 

Chad, I was worried about you, my
youngest brother, but I realize you have to
take a break from GIC. I recall,that you are
planning a trip this summer. Is that still
on? At this point in my life. my traveling
days are behind me. I'm grateful that
Linda & I were able to travel cross country,
including your big state of Texas. Is it
already hot down there? We're finally
hitting 50 degrees (!) in Massachusetts,
60s next week. Thank you for reaching
out to Susan, despite your own struggle
with Mr. Grief. Lou

 

P.S.I'm sorry I didn't mention that your
wife's name is Lizzy. It's important to
keep saying the names of our soulmates,
to keep their spirits alive within us. Lou

 

Hi Lou!! It's definitely getting there. The high for next week is 95. I finally finished school this semester. That was taking a lot if time. The trip is still on this summer for Lizzy’s birthday. I'll be with her sister in California. Here lately I have found a bit of peace in being active. Going for a jog or working out, so far its been like a second therapy for me. Hope you are doing well!!

Chad

 

Wow, Chad, is it 95 AND humid? Maybe
you're used to it, but it can be dangerous
for older guys like me. Except for the
occasional hot & humid heat wave, the
ocean breezes keep my town cooler than
the city. When you go to Ca., will you be
anywhere near our widow friends, like
Karen, Debra, or Alex? Lou

 

I will be in Orange in Southern Cali. I am looking forward to it and anxious at the same time. Never thought I would be visiting Lizzy's sister without her.

Chad

 

Chad, it's only natural that you have very
mixed feelings. All of us have "happy,
mixed with sad" memories , as Robin
says, about our soulmates. I'd like to
believe that Lizzy will be there with you
in spirit. I'm not familiar with all the
towns in Ca, except the major cities.
But, many of our widow grief warriors
are trying to connect, who live out there.
When you go, I hope you can tell us about
your trip. I don't go anywhere now, so
I'm interested in other people's travels. Lou

 

I'm sorry for your losses. You are truly strong just being able to.talk about it. Multiple loss is very painful. Ive lost a lot of people and definitely feel.the loneliness. You are in the right place where we can comfort one another. Im proud of you for.dealing with it. Im up.most of the nights too so.reach out. I care and will listen anytime. I often feel noone cares either. I don't hear from people unless I reach out to them most of the time . So.i get it. My kids are my motivation and I don't know where I'd b if it wasn't for them. Praying for your strength!

 

40s Cold wind driven rain here still... They say 80s next week.. we'll see a warm day then the obligatory coldFront comes through I think!

 

Woke up from dream, checking GIC, & saw
your reply to my conversation with our
youngest brother, Chad. Wow, George!
80s!!! One extreme to another. I may have
told you, that when I was in my 20s. after
graduating from college, my roommate &
I drove cross country, making a stop in
Chicago. It was a hot Fourth of July----
100 degrees. Lou

 

Hello to you all, so sorry to read about your losses. Understand totally what you're all going through. I lost my beloved soulmate 18 months ago but it still seems so unreal to me. Crying is not enough to express how I'm feeling, there aren't any appropriate words to express my sorrow, I want to scream and scream until I have no voice left but I haven't found a place where I can do that without being heard so I thought maybe I could do that here, sharing with you this deep sadness of mine which just grows more and more everyday.

 

Rose, I'm sorry for your loss. I found this site where I can express my feelings, my deep sorrow because we all are grieving for our loved ones.
I loss my partner and best friend three and a half months ago, is the worst journey that I'm traveling, this ups and downs like a rollercoaster, not being able to sleep, it's so tiring.!! I also cry quite often, so many memories.
You will find here a very supportive n

 

Rose, Hopefully I will manage to complete my sentence...in this site you will find a very supportive group of people that understand our grieving, I'm glad that you find us TGW (The Grieving Warriors). If you stick around you will be able to talk to the warriors, they will listen and sometimes give you advice, or just read their postings. For me it's the only place I come every day, I have my virtual friends. I'm sure you will feel better just corresponding with us. Helena

 

Ro

Rose 69, I'm so sorry to hear about the
agony you are going through, over the
death of your soulmate, but I'm glad you
are brave enough to join us on Grief in
Common ( GIC), as my good friend,
Helena just said. I happened to wake up
I'm the middle of the night, where I live---
on the northern coast of Massachusetts.
Can you tell me more about yourself?
Where do you live? My wife , Linda, died
suddenly, in front of me, 3 & a half years
ago. She was 68. We were married 25
years, no children. I miss her every day.
I cry a little every morning. It does get
better with time, because I don't weep
like I used to. I had to see a grief counselor
at the time. She suggested this site, with
such kind people from all over the United
States. I wasn't ready to join, until July of
2021. I only wish I had done it before. I
like to welcome new people, like you, the
way I was welcomed here. I used Van
Gogh as my user name, bc I was a tortured
soul like the famous painter. My name is
Lou. Is Rose your real name? May I ask
the name of your soulmate? It has helped
me to say Linda's name, to honor her
memory. Lou

 

Good Morning Lou, Seems like last night you couldn't sleep either. I have to blame to the black tea I drank at 9 pm, at least I managed four hours of sleep which helps. Thanks for mentioning my name on your welcome correspondence to Rose? She is from outside the US.
Wishing you and all the GW a very peaceful day!!! Helena.

 

Helena, so sorry you were up in the night,
too. I like BIGELOW Sweet Dreams
herbal tea, with NO caffeine. I did see
on "Rose 69" information, that she lives
outside the U.S. But, I asked her where,
and also, the name of her husband.The
more we share with each other, the
better our healing journey. Lou

 

Hello Rose, my name is Karen. I lost my hubby 18 months ago too, Nov 4 2020. And, yes, it still seems so unreal. You can scream here, you can vent here, you can share anything no judgements. We're all trying to get through this horrible journey together, and we will. Bless you, Karen

 

George,

As always, it's good to "see" you. Mother Nature must be stuck on that twisted roller coaster ride of emotions with all of us!!!, TUTTAM!!! It SUCKS!!!

I've been MIA for a couple of days. Hope you're doing okay, have had at least one reason to LMSO...

Sending you lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Rose,

I'm so very sorry your soulmate passed away. I HATE!!! having to say this for two reasons, the first is because at times like this, words seem so inadequate, but since they're all I have, I hope you know how truly sorry I am. The second is because I HATE!!! it!!!, TUTTAM!!! (Total Understatement To The Absolute Max!!!), every single time I learn someone else is suffering through the worst kind of heartbreak imaginable... I can (almost) feel your pain. It SUCKS!!! I need a tissue...

Very briefly, my husband, Bob, died April 11, 2021, at 3:45 a.m. He suffered from many serious illnesses, all controlled by medications (until the beginning of 2018),prescribed by his specialists. By the time Bob died, he had a specialist for just about every body part. I was his full time caregiver, from the beginning of 2018, up until the moment he died.

Some of my GIC friends, Helena, Lou, and Karen, have already introduced themselves to you. Lou came up with the perfect name for us, TGW (The Grief Warriors). We fight multiple battles with Mr. Grief (Karen came up with this) daily. It's way beyond emotionally and physically exhausting, but and this is a very BIG!!! BUT!!!, we are NOT!!! alone. We're here to help each other through this miserable journey (for lack of a better word), any way we can. We give each other virtual hugs, a place to cry... scream... vent..., we offer each other advice, but you can take it or leave it, this is a judgement free place. We will be here for you, no matter what you decide to do. The most important thing is that you do what works best for you, helps you get through the long days and even longer nights ahead.

I'm so sorry you had to find us, but so glad you did. I hope you'll stick around, get to "know" us, give us the chance to get to "know" you. Welcome to TGW, our GIC "family."

Wait!!!, I don't want to end this on such a sad note. Although the time line for healing is different for each one of us, some of us have begun to experience what Karen calls "flickers" of light." Robin, one of TGW,who has a wonderful way of expressing her feelings. She "talked" about these "flickers of light" in one of her recent messages. I wish I could find it and share it with you. Both Robin and Lou experienced "flickers of light" before I did, but at around the tenth month anniversary of Bob's death, but mostly at around the one year anniversary of his death, I began experiencing them too. It is such a good feeling to be doing something as simple, as ordinary, as going to the grocery store, being able to shop for fruits and vegetables, without anything triggering tears, feeling "normal" again, feeling like everything is right in the world..., even if this feeling is fleeting.

Although it doesn't feel this way, please try to remember that when you're feeling like you're stuck at the bottom of that very twisted roller coaster ride of emotions, in Mr. Grief's over the top twisted amusement park (this is Gary's contribution, another friend, one of TGW), you ARE!!! healing!!! There is no escaping grief. We must travel through all these darkest of days, in order to heal..., to keep on healing, right up until the time we are reunited with our soulmates... You have taken a very big step by joining our GIC "family." YOU ARE A TRUE GW!!!, TUTTAM!!!

Stopping here, before I continue to ramble on and on and on, typing you one of my "books," as Lou and I refer to my over the top l o n g posts!!!

Sending you lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB