A Daughter’s Story: Saying Goodbye to My Father

Hi everyone,

I lost my dad two months ago, and I’ve been struggling to find the words—or the energy—to talk about it. He passed away from ALS, and it happened so suddenly that I still feel like I haven’t caught up with reality.

I saw him just two days before I moved to North Carolina. Saying goodbye felt so hard, but I didn’t know it would be the last time. Shortly after I moved, I got the call that he had passed. I felt completely broken. It was like the ground disappeared beneath me.

Despite everything, for him and my mom, I made sure to accomplish everything I set out to do. I earned two degrees—a Bachelors in Business Management and a Master’s in Business Administration—even while taking care of him. I still worked full time, maintained a 4.0 GPA, was inducted into an honor society, and managed my own health issues along the way. It wasn’t easy, but I wanted to make them proud.

We didn’t know what was happening at first. One day he was still just my dad—strong, steady, the person who made everything feel safe. And then his body started slipping away from him, faster than we could understand. ALS doesn’t give you time to prepare. Watching someone you love lose their ability to move, to speak, to breathe… it breaks something in you.

Even through all of that, he stayed brave and loving. He tried to protect us, even as he was the one fading.

Since he passed, I’ve felt completely stuck. I recently moved to a new state, I work from home, and I don’t have a lot of people around. Most days I just lay around trying to make sense of the grief. It’s heavy. It’s quiet and loud all at once. I miss his voice, his presence, his calm energy. I miss just knowing he was here.

I’m sharing this because I need a place to say: my dad mattered. His life mattered. And I still love him every day. I don’t have any perfect words or deep insights—I’m just trying to get through each day.

If you’ve gone through something like this—especially with ALS or a sudden loss—I’d appreciate hearing from you. Thank you for reading.

— LovingMyFather