This is my life now...managing an unfixable pain. My husband's dad died in 2020, after that my husband was different. The abuse started slow. Name calling, yelling, gas lighting. Accused me of cheating...you name it, he did it. I dealt with it as I thought it was his grief. On March 2 he physically abused me, I told him to leave and I was filing for divorce because this was not okay. March 3 he took his life in my backyard. It was supposed to be a murder/suicide but the cops got there before me. I am lost and broken.
So sorry to hear of the terrible things you have been through. You did the right thing. Your husband lost all hope but thank God you were spared the same fate. Jesus can repair a broken heart. Many times, the thought ran through my mind, "Who can repair a broken heart?" I have found the only one capable of carrying us through the unbearableness of this kind of loss is God. I pray you are able to get some sleep so your body can be refreshed and that you will find some peace. I am here for you. Love, Chris