Lost my special needs daughter

I lost my special needs daughter, we had went to Neurologist because her seizures were worsening so they suggested surgery because all the meds weren't helping but when they looked at her scans her brain disease had progressed to far so nothing they could do for her she suffered alot right at end with seizures uncontrollable anger aggressive behavior loss of walking I tried to look at it that in her years she lived that they learned alot and now they have a means and way to help children like her that was once a death sentence if its caught early enough but im also angry as hell at times that she contributed so much but couldn't be helped and then I feel selfish and like krap also I have always worked in Healthcare and loved being with patients and looking after them but now I have no interest to return to Healthcare and I dont understand why