How to Continue On?

A life riddled with grief loss and heartache.

Is there a limit to how much one heart can hold?

Ever since I was a little girl my life has been riddled with tragic unexpected losses. Life keeps going, yet someone we are expected to get up go to school/work, and pretend like our whole worlds hasn’t just been shattered in every single way. Loss after loss, seeing the bodies of those I love, lifeless, cold. No child, no person should ever have to see that, to experience that. The PTSD of the flashing images of those you love most, young - with so much life yet to live, lifeless. What is this life? Some place we go just to experience grief, loss, and heartache. Grief is one of the most untalked about experiences. Most of the suffering we see in society I believe is due to suppressed/unprocessed grief. My grief has been since I was a young girl, now into adulthood, I could feel myself starting to slip, knowing I could not handle yet another tragic loss. Yet, it happened. It happened again. Yesterday morning. I don’t know if this life is worth it. Sometimes I ask why them and not me? I don’t know how to move forward. I was already at my limit, and now the limit has been surpassed.

 

I am sorry for the numerous losses you have suffered through. Our lives can be filled with many painful experiences, but through it all I have learned that we have a Saviour who loves us and cares that we are hurting. He tells us to cast our care upon Him for He cares for us. This load is too heavy for you to carry alone. When we feel we are past our limit, we have to turn the load over to God. He can carry it, we can't.
I didn't think I could go on even one day when our 28 year old son died as a result of suicide, but I knew the character of God and I knew he would help me. I just kept looking to Him and waiting for Him to help me get through it, and He did. It was a long process but it has been 25 years and unbelievably I am still going on. The experience caused me to draw even nearer to God than I had been and I found out when we think we can't go on, it is possible for God to sustain us, strengthen us, and help us in our greatest hour of need. He loves you and will help you to go on if you reach out to Him.
We care about you here. Continue to share your feelings as you feel led. Talking the situation through helps us to make some sense of it as we talk.
We are here for you.
Christine