Societal Pressures Today

After reading posts on various Grief sites across the internet, I keep seeing people apologizing for not "moving ahead". Over the last 40 years there has been a huge push of psychology and therapies, all of which are built on the idea of "progress". Some therapeutic models are now admitting that there are some things that you carry to your death, and no amount of therapy will change. I find that comforting, because it feels real. It means I can relax in my belief that what I am feeling now will be with me until the end. Up until the 1960's it was common for married people to feel that they were ONE, that their spirits had fused. That when one died, a half a person was left on earth waiting to join the other half. I see people suffering deeply over the loss of a partner in a marriage lasting many decades and feeling bad for this belief of Oneness. In Victorian times and for centuries before, women often retired their lives to a "silent waiting", often alone. Men allowed family to care for them but remained in grief until the end. Today I spent a long time looking at my husband's Facebook account, going over the photos of our times together around the world, his loving messages to me for everyone to see. Those photos came to life for a long while, and I will keep visiting them because they at least attach a clear reason for my searing pain. I look into his eyes in those photos and he comes alive again. I will live off of this for as long as I can. And I won't apologize for it.