The scene kept replaying in my head

I just lost my best friend , someone I consider a brother to me. He got brain cancer, gliomatosis cerebri. We both have known each other for almost 16 years. We served in military together. He was my hero, someone I looked up to. I had to watch how cancer took away his life spirit, how he change from strong and wise person into fragile and delusional man..
The end was for him to be declared brain death and we have to turn off his life support. That scene was replayed over and over and over again in my head everyday. I told myself I am gonna be ready for this but after he passed away , the reality of his death starting to sink in. Suddenly every memory about him pains me because it is a reminder of what I have lost. I couldn't go home without my brain replaying that scene in my Head. All I do is work and work. That is the only distraction I can get but lately work has not been enough. I was told i needed bed rest by doctor because I have not letlmy body sleeps for several days. And this is driving me crazy because all I can remember is that scene replaying at my head.