Robin,
I hate eating alone too... Most of the time, I can't even sit at the kitchen table. It's just makes me cry, seeing Bob's empty chair. I "talked" about this in a much early message, guessing it was either late spring or sometime in the summer. I said in that earlier message, that the microwave has become my new best friend, and the TV my new dining companion. Before Bob died, I only watched TV at night. We would either watch a series that we were both into, or find a movie. Now I can't stand the silence, I miss the conversations we used to have over long, leisurely meals. I usually take my dinner into the living room, and tune into something mindless while I'm eating.
It's only very recently that I began making myself dinner, and even now there are many nights that I don't have the desire or energy to cook. I'll zap a frozen meal or some soup in the microwave, and instead of making a fresh salad, will open a bagged one and put it into a bowl, usually all I can handle. However, on the nights I actually make myself dinner, I will chop up fresh veggies, buy some sort of lettuce, baby spinach or even arugula (when it's hard to find anything else that's fresh) and make a "real" salad. Even though I eat way too many frozen meals, I buy the healthiest vegetarian ones I can find. If I want chicken, fish, etc., I'll make it myself. I think the only reason I started cooking again is because for the very first time in my life, I went so long without eating chicken and fish, that it got to the point where I felt like I was craving these foods. It sounds so absurd, I never would have ever thought, I would have a craving for chicken or fish, TU!!!
Thank you so much for the smiles... I love!!! hearing that Teddy is doing so well!!! My dog always managed to get some of her stitches out too, even if the stitches were in places that were very difficult for her to reach. She was a very creative girl, TU!!!
I had and still have a very difficult time going into stores too, and just like you, especially the ones that Bob and I used to go to together. Bob liked to go shopping with me, about the only exception was during football season. Then he would kick back in his recliner, our dog trying her best to fit on his lap, or cuddle up, squashed is more like it, next to him in his recliner. Although she weighed 90 lbs, and was a very big girl, she thought she was a lap dog. I still miss her so much...
I still cry when I'm shopping. I never know what's going to trigger those tears. Today, I stopped at the grocery store on my way home from the car place, and there was a really "cheesy" song playing. I hate that piped in music!!! I don't even remember what it was, but when I heard it, I started crying. I always have lots of tissues with me wherever I go. I live in a heavily populated area, and do most of my grocery shopping at a really big store, so I only run into people I know once and awhile. I always try to keep the conversation to a minimum. However, a couple weeks ago, I was putting a container of yogurt in my cart, when I heard a voice behind me saying, "do I know you from somewhere?" I turned around to find someone who I used to see when I was walking. I would stop and talk to him every once in awhile until the day I told him that Bob passed away. He tried to hit on me. He asked me to go to the gym with him, and to bring a swimsuit, so we could talk in the hot tub and have some drinks afterwards. I won't repeat what I said, but I was way beyond furious, TU!!! Back to the dairy case, as soon as I turned around, he apologized for asking me out. He said he knows it was a very insensitive thing to do. I accepted his apology, even though it made my blood boil, and left that dairy case ASAP, TU!!! He made my skin crawl. I hope I never see him again, end of story!!!
Thanks for the advice. I'm really frazzled now, but in the morning, I'm going to try rebooting it. I'm so over the top technically challenged, TU!!! If I'm missing for awhile, just know that I"ll miss you and all of TGW so much... I think I should be okay though, rebooting is one thing I can usually handle. Hope I didn't just jinx myself!!!
I hope your daughter was able to finish all of her errand and you had something for dinner too.
I hope you're able to sleep tonight... I take melatonin at night. It helps me fall asleep, but I still wake up many times, not always able to go back to sleep.
As always, sending you and Teddy lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
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