Stages of Grief: Anger

Stacey I loved your last Montage. I wish Bruno would have sang “grief town funks you up grief down funks you up”. And then Bruno added “The grief warriors build you up the grief warriors build you up.” I went to the Walmart in Kendallville early to beat the crowd and now I’m back home settling in for another dark gloomy rainy fall day. Deb what a beautiful response to Stacey. Thanks for the compliment Deb how well I appear to be doing in my grief journey. Frank Sinatra’s song “that’s life” describes the real me. i’m Riding high in the morning then shot down at noon. Thanks to the grief warriors I can pick myself up and get back in the race cause that’s life. Deb thanks for sharing the story about the your beautiful flowers that bloom in the fall. and that they meant so much to you and Bob because they appeared to bloom out of season. Lou that site “centers for a loss and life’s transition” is a treasure trove of information. They offer a ton of free information to help us on our grief journey. I saw the six needs of reconciliation for the mourner on there also. I’m still not receiving the daily quote even though I’m a confirmed member. It’s all good though. Because of the weather I’m going to have to do more in my never ending battle against Mr. grief. but thank God I have the grief warriors on my side, literature to read, and faith in the Positive Energy of the universe. Gary

 

Greg. I love the way you give credit &
thanks to all TGW. I also like that you
share my liking for Sinatra's music. His
slow. sad ballads, Cycles, A Man Alone,
It Was a Very Good Year, all made me
sob, right after Linda's death, but, I can
listen now, without crying. Same goes
for the mournful, heartwrenching San
Quentin, by Johnny Cash. On the other
hand, the music of Creedence Clearwater,
The Band ( "The Weight"), which I heard
in college, make me smile. Also love The
House of the Rising Sun. The one that
got me dancing the other morning, is
Hootchie Cootchie Man, by Muddy
Waters. I like the beat, and the sassy
theme. I like it when he sings, " don't
mess with me". Amen. Lou

 

Lou,

That's so cool that you are also a fan of Brian Regan! Yes, he is hilarious. I've seen him in person as well.

Yes, our state is a mess (thanks to crappy politicians and their crappy policies!). It's such a shame because I truly love this state - It's so beautiful. We have everything here. Beautiful forests, stunning beaches and icky deserts (sorry not a desert fan). We have Yosemite and San Francisco (a beautiful charming mess of a city now - tragic) LA and Hollywood...we have Napa Valley and the beautiful wine country and Palm Springs.... And we grow citrus and almonds and grapes (raisins from Fresno...) that are shipped out across the nation. And we have Disneyland ♥♥♥♥♥
I'm going to start exploring it all, soon. That's my plan anyway.

 

Gary,

I like your rendition of Uptown Funk. That works. Glad you're back home to settle in for a rainy day. I love rainy days always, but they're definitely not cheery.

I'm having a horrible day of tears and grief, but reading posts and responses is helping me through a tough stretch. I really hope it doesn't get much worse than this. Right now it's pretty brutal.

Hoping the rest of your day and weekend are full of happy moments, or at least peaceful moments. ♥

 

Stacey, I agree with everything you said
about your state. I pray to God that it
will return to its'glory days, but. right
now, it's hard to see how. COVID not only
took lives, but did great damage to our
American spirit. We saw a great deal of
California, in 1997, a year after we got
married. One memorable visit was to
the Steinbeck museum. He's probably
rolling in his grave at how this mighty
state has fallen, But, it's not just there.
When I was a boy, I visited NYC, rode the
subway (!), walked the streets, ate at the
many ethnic restaurants. Unless there's
an improvement, you couldn't pay me to
go there now, or any city. for that manner.
I feel safe & welcomed in my friendly
small town. Lou

 

I know it's a bit early, but it is the Sunday before Thanksgiving, and I like watching and sharing this on the Lord's day. This always helps me prepare my mind and heart for this holiday. May God profoundly bless each one of you this week. I am thankful for you.
Happy Thanksgiving. ♥

 

To all TGW...

I just finished reading today's posts. I don't have the energy to respond to each of you individually,even though I really want to. I'm way beyond emotionally and physically exhausted... Grief SUCKS BIG TIME!!!, TU!!! Gary, I agree with Stacey, your rendition of Uptown Funk is perfect. I totally "get" that "running high feeling in the morning, then getting shot down at noon." For me the timing of those highs and lows isn't always the same, but as Lou described it yesterday, we're stuck on a tilt a whirl of emotions, and get tossed of it frequently. Just like Tom Hanks, in "Forrest Gump," said, " life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get." Unfortunately, for all of us, we seem to have gotten those pieces that are always left over in the bottom of the box...

Stacey posted the most beautiful Thanksgiving YouTube video. I watched it twice and was teary eyed each time... Although we are in so much pain, going through the worst kind of heartbreak imaginable, we have so much to be thankful for. I thought about this today, as I was walking. I thought about all the good people in this world... I thought about Bob, how he always said, "As long as I'm on the right side of the dirt, it's a good day." It was a beautiful sunny, picture perfect day... bright blue sky... the sounds of nature everywhere... As heartbroken as I am, seeing all the beauty in the world... made me smile...

Like Stacey, I'm grateful for all of you... for the strong, unbreakable bond we have formed with each other, for the heartfelt responses, for being here when I'm at my very worst, and also for making me realize that although I'll never be the same again, the happy, fun part of me, is still inside somewhere... Thank you for getting me not only to smile, but to laugh too... Laugh when I thought it was impossible to do so. I truly love each and every one of you!!!, TU!!!

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Oh, my God. thank you, Stacey, for this
incredibly moving Thanksgiving testament to God. Thanksgiving holds a special
place in my heart, bc I was born and
raised in Plymouth, Massachusetts, where
the Pilgrims landed. The stirring music of your video, along with quotations from
classic authors, like Charles Dickens, and
from our beloved Presidents, Washington
and Lincoln, made me feel proud to be an
American. But, I was really stunned and
moved when I saw the name of an innocent young girl. Anne Frank, who
still believed in the kindness of some
people, in spite of the pure evil which
took her life. After my wife, Linda, died
exactly 3 years ago, I was going down a
dark hole of despair. heavy drinking,
and getting both mentally and physically
sick. Last year, I turned down an invitation
to Thanksgiving dinner, by a wonderful
family who "adopted" me. I wanted to be
alone. This year, I accepted the invitation,
and look forward to being in the company
of people who care for me. Stacey,
you have become a true leader ( and youngest) of our group. In spite of your horrible, very
recent tragedy of Mark's death, you have
reached out to others, like me. God Bless
You & Happy Thanksgiving. Lou

 

Deb, your words are so beautiful and
moving, in response to Stacey's incredible
Thanksgiving video. I beat you to it. for
once (!) , in my response to Stacey. I'm sure
other Grief Warriors will follow. You, Bob,
Linda, and I are alike in so many ways.
Toward what would be the end of Linda's
life, she was asked how she was. She
said simply, "above ground" Lou

 

Stacy, thank you. I keep thinking our love ones would be so sad to know how miserable and grief stricken we are. I don't want Jack to be sad for me. I keep telling this to my self every day. And for all of us, we know our love ones want us to be contented at least, and carry on until we meet again.

 

Karen, you and Stacey are very brave. Her
unwavering belief in God seems to sustain
her. Stacey is the youngest of our group.
Her husband and soulmate, Mark, died
much more recently than any of our
soulmates. And yet, she has inspired us
with her motivational videos and music .
& dance montages. Stacey has become a
true leader here. My sincere hope is that
you and Stacey will meet in person, in
California. My other fantasy is that Deb
will visit her old "home" in Massachusetts,
so that we may meet ( and share a box of
tissues, and then, some laughs)........Lou

 

Thanks Deb you are the most kindest nurturing and compassionate person I’ve ever known. That’s why you’ve been awarded den mother status of TGW. I’m glad you had a picture perfect day to experience mother nature and her healing power. Remembering your posts a few days ago you said we are all going to get through this together. We are TGW. Stacey Mr Grief certainly hasn’t taken your creative mind. Are you by any chance a choreographer with your church? Thanks for the montages. Thanks for the reminder Karen. How would they feel if they saw us torturing ourselves with all this grief? We must do more than just function. Lou I’m going to guess what you look like. I imagine you are 6 foot one and weigh 170 pounds. you have longer hair and a short beard. You’re athletic and you have the face of a sea captain. Am I close? Karen and Stacey you take first watch since you’re on western time zone. then Lou and Robin will pick it up in the morning. George and I will relieve you guys at noon. Deb and Patti will be on standby. We Will all take turns holding down the fort to keep Mr. grief out. thanks everyone. Rest well. Gary

 

Sorry, Gary, I called you Greg by mistake.
I wanted to see if you shared my taste
in music. Lou

 

Gary, I just apologized for calling you
Greg, earlier in the day. I wanted to know
if you shared some of my love for music,
aside from Sinatra. Hope you have a chance to see my music "playlist", and
comment on it. I laughed out loud when I
read what you thought I looked like. The
fact is that I'm short (!), as I told Deb. I have short, salt & pepper hair. I wear baseball
hats ( but showing Rockport on them,
instead of sports teams). The hats and
sunglasses protect my face from the sun,
so my face is smooth, except for telltale
bags under my eyes. The people I meet at
the Shack are astounded that I'm 72, and
think I'm 10 years younger. My good
friend, Lyle, 75, Vietnam vet, former
fishing boat captain, and hard drinker, is
a little taller than I am. He's the one with
the weather beaten face. I have a medium
build and keep fit by a lot of walking. I'm
fortunate that my folks lived into their 90s,
but looked younger. It's a healthy lifestyle
here, and I know people in their 90s, who are sharp, positive, and love to talk with
people, and not dwell in the past. They are my role models, Lou

 

I'm often called "Greg" as well.. Popular name! Lou is Da ShackMan!

 

Just catching up on GIC since I got up so freaky early! Speaking of music Santana is one of my favs. His guitar is so beautiful. It sings to my soul!

 

Hey, Buddy! I liked Santana, too, I was
up in the middle of the night and welcomed 2 new members: Bernadine
("Countess Joy') and Sorbett. I'm sure they
would like to hear from you & other GW. L

 

George, I told Gary that he's like a brother
I never had. I'm the oldest, he's the middle
brother, and I think you're our youngest
brother!! Lou

 

Way Cool... Speaking of youthful good looks no one believes I'm 56! LOL And I haven't gotten my hair cut in 5 years. Since I was still a teacher before Polycystic Kidney Disease! I got up around 4:15 and saw "Countess Joy's" post too. Good morning ShackMan!

 

George, nobody believes I'm 72 ( I don't
either!!). They think I'm 59, like my friends
at the Shack. In my heart & mind, I feel
I'm that age, too. My best friends are
Ginny, 97( !), Roger,92, Korean War vet,
and N., 34, Army vet. Your sense of
humor and nicknames for me, sound like
my friend, N. Lou