Loss of my Mr Fix-It-All Dad

On Sept 1, 2021 I received a call around 7pm from the ER that my dad had a medical emergency while driving and unfortunately passed away.

He was only 63. Father of three boys and me, his only daughter. Grandfather to four beautiful girls. Friend to so many..

He had no will or life insurance. He worked all of his life.

My brothers and I are all in our 30's. Somehow, I am the admin of his estate as the youngest and physically disabled. I feel like my brothers don't understand that if they want to keep something of our dad's [like his HD motorcycles or house] they have to pay for it. Seems like all they're worried about is what they can get/have. Two brothers are not around to help, while the other is able to - but always has an excuse why he cant come help clean and pack up our dad's possessions.

If it weren't for my husband and his mother helping me, my dad's home wouldn't be getting cleaned up and out..

My dad was my go to guy. My best friend. The only parent that I have a relationship with.

Some days are okay, while others have me feeling like I'm drowning and no idea what to do... I don't want to sell his home. We've been there for over 20 yrs. He worked so hard to get it looking nice and had plans on doing more. He actually had a heart attack and passed away after loading up used heavy windows into the back of his truck for his home..

 

I'm truly sorry for your loss, Petunia, and for losing such a great part of yourself and your life.
The practical things will fall into place in the end, the most important thing is to take care of your wounded heart right now.
I am swimming in my own grief so I don't have much more I can share, only that I received the most painful news of my life on the same day that you did and my heart has been broken since. What is helping me is listening to Shapes of Grief podcasts daily, there are many stories of others' grief journeys there that help me process and find a glimmer of hope to be able to carry this unspeakable pain. Maybe there are relatable stories on there that you may find some solace in too?
Much courage and warmth to you.