Loss of husband in 2020 and unearthing betrayal

Just remember George, that none of us can always be on top of everything. It’s too exhausting, and you are fighting your own battle for your new normal. It’s a new normal that SUCKS at times. Sometimes all the time. But it’s not always going to be this way. I promise. The pain eases and the scars show the love that caused the pain. ❤️ Deborah A.

 

Deb, you're doing fine on GIC. I consider
Gary, George, and Chad my younger
brothers. It was George , a creative artist
and master of wordplay,who came up with
funny nicknames. He called himself
Lombardo Da Vinci. Bc I live on the
north shore of Massachusetts, known for
its' seafood, he calls me variations of
LobsterDude, or sometimes Louster, which
makes me laugh. He calls DEB, Debster,
and so on. It's a fun distraction from
our grieving. I came up with "Ms.Hum"
for Karen, bc that's one of her favorite
expressions. Lou

 

Sorry, Lou. I have cataracts, and I can’t see quite as well as I once could. The thing that I live with these days is that I feel like half of the person I was when Steve was here. I’m just not enough anymore. He filled in for my many weaknesses. BUT, I can’t go around feeling sorry for myself. Enough of that! Self pity. Ugh!! I’m grateful for everyone here, and trying to be a better person. I just have to try harder.
Deb

 

Deb, one of the things I learned from Tom
Zuba's Permission to Mourn, is that we
should forgive everything, and that includes ourselves. I hope your cataracts
improve. I wore glasses all my life, bc I
was very nearsighted. After I hit 70, I
had trouble reading even the second line
on the eye chart. My eye doctor suggested
I have my cataracts surgically removed.
I was needlessly worried, bc I was under
anesthesia, & didn't feel anything. The
nurses were kind, & we had a few laughs.
The 2nd eye, a few weeks later, was a
piece of cake. Now, miraculously, I can see
far distances without glasses, and just
require reading glasses at night. Hope
things get better for you, Deb. I know you
are younger than I am. Lou

 

Fat lot of good it does me.

 

Sorry

 

Deb, please try not to say you're sorry. I
went dancing last night at my local cafe,
which didn't exist when Linda was alive.
I put her cane in a safe place, and found
out my balance was good if I didn't close
my eyes. I danced with women Linda
never knew. This morning was the first
time I didn't cry for Linda---in over 4 yrs.
I did feel a quick wave of guilt that Linda
& I didn't dance more, like she wanted us
to. But, as Karen ( "Ms. Hum") would say,
I kicked "Mr. Grief" in the ass, and was on
my way. Lou

 

Lou, you are the Godfather of this site! I am impressed that you could get out and find human connection! You are a role model. Keep it up! ❤️ Deb

 

Wow, Deb, thanks for the compliment.
Brother Gary called me The Godfather on
GIC, bc I like to bring our kind family,
not the Corleone crime family, together.
I like to ask the names of soulmates, and
find out where people live. Linda didn't
want me to end up alone, and to find
another woman. I'm just putting myself
out there, and don't want to be a couch
potato, and shorten my life. Lou

 

Good afternoon everyone ~ can anyone please tell me: do I have to pay to use this chat?

 

Deb, absolutely not! Lou

 

Good morning,

Another snowstorm is expected this week here in Minnesota. We could see 12 more inches of snow. It’s not horrible, because we often have worse, but we’ve already had almost four feet of snow! What a winter wonderland! If I never had to drive anywhere, I might not mind. But I’m certainly not ready to give up driving! Jeepers! I have 8 more years until retirement. Hugs and comfort, ❤️ Deborah (the perpetually snowbound teacher)

 

Deb, your endless winter is horrible, as is
George's in Chicago. I am grateful that
my winters are not as bad or as long.
It's almost 50 & sunny today, Presidents'
Day. I'm walking along my promenade
of shops & restaurants, by the sea. A
friend my age is singing & playing
guitar outside, for tips from tourists.
He sings a lot of Cash & Merle Haggard
songs, He sings Haggard's Are the Good
Times Really Over? bc he knows I like it,
& play it on my Smart Phone at home.
I love the summer here, bc it's great for
people watching , and meeting tourists
who stay in the many inns here. Lou

 

Godfather Lou, it felt like a miracle had happened like a cure for cancer when I read you put Linda’s cane down and walked onto the dance floor with a female worthy of your esteem. Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Maybe one of us will have the courage to do that too? You are a natural born leader and a great communicator and mentor. George would say yeah we expect that from you because you are The Godfather. I just came in from looking at Orion above the branches of the tulip tree in the yard. I have to say it lifted my sagging spirit. Now reading our Godfather is shaking his hips on the dance floor I feel even better. Cabin fever came early this year for me. Maybe it will leave early too. I’ve been dog sitting for my niece Laura who went to Buffalo to visit her Grandma in memory care. Vixen (The dog) has kept me company and lifted my self esteem but I’m not ready for a fur buddy commitment yet. I’ll be watching Vixen again in 6 weeks. Thanks for your positive message Lou. Gary

 

Gary, I'm glad I could make you proud of
your older brother. Yes, putting Linda's
cane down and shaking my hips, as you
amusingly stated, was a miracle. Come to
think of it, it was a parody of those who
throw down their crutches, and can walk
again, at Lourdes. I owe it to the female
friend who beckoned me onto the dance
floor. God willing, there's no stopping me
now. I've told others about this, and they
are proud and happy for me, too. Lou

 

G, what you are feeling or not feeling is all part of this nightmare we are going through. There was a quote on the daily reflection goes like this, "New philosophy, I only dread one day at a time". By C. Shultz. Hum! interesting don't you think?

 

Louster, I missed this post and saw it on Garbear's post regarding you shaking a leg on the dance floor. Hooray! And who is this female friend? Nosy aren't I?

 

You're funny, as usual, Ms.Hum. Don't
know this woman, in her late 60s, well,
but she's a friend of a friend. We're not
interested in each other romantically,
but we share a love of live bands. I like her
philosophy : keep moving ( for me, it's
been walking, and for her, dancing). Lou

 

I feel so "dirty" inside. I am so depressed again. I thought I was healing now this step back. I can't take it but I know I must. I look forward to nothing these days.

 

George, not sure your mood will improve
until this seemingly endless cold & dark
winter is over. As I've said before,
your Chicago is NOT " my kind of town",
like Frank Sinatra sang. I'm not sure it
was for him , either . He spent his life in
warm places like Las Vegas and Palm
Springs, in Ca. Your weather SUCKS BIG
TIME, as our friend, Debster, says. Even
worse is the other Deb's snowstorms in
Minnesota. Please hold on 'til spring,
Lombardo. I say the same thing to myself.
Lousterino