It’s only been two months

it seems like everyone is doing fine with acceptance, but I just can’t feel at peace with my guy not being here anymore. I felt hurt, lost, alone and empty without him here. It feels like it will never ever feel better, like things will just never ever even be the same. There is no other him, my sweet best friend. Life is crippling, the thought of him no longer existing hurts my soul, I just want to call him and hear him laugh. I just want him to rub my back and help me get myself out of my head. I am so angry, so tired, so broken.. I feel crazy, I am lost. Life hurts..

 

I’m angry at him also. How could he do something so mundane like die earlier than me. I know all the stages off intellectualized loss, but I’m angry at that too.

 

He was the only person I knew I mattered too..

 

I’m sorry you have that level of loneliness. Sincerely, I am. I’m not sure mine was the only one who valued me. But, I just feel like for a lot of reasons he and I were robbed of lives together. He could be stubborn and want things his way. I’m upset I don’t know how much that worked for him. It didn’t work for me. I hope you heal. ​

 

I

it’s a scary, dark, and awful loneliness I feel without him. We were both broken and tired when we met, he brought out life in me and I did the same for him. I feel like longing for him and craving his laughter will never go away. All of the what if’s kill me. There will never be another Cameron. No one is here to keep me grounded and pull me out of my head the way he was able too.

 

I hope you find a way to heal without hurting yourself. I pray he is somewhere you can take flowers. I buy myself flowers and some times I grow them. I have a outdoor lily garden. (Not the pond type) I take my dogs for a walk. He was a little jealous of my dogs. I was a teeny bit afraid of his ex-wife. My mother, and Dad taught me to grow flowers. And they taught me how to feel about them. Blessing to you at this time of your sorrow. Thinking about you ...

 

I feel your pain, i lose my wife 2 months ago, the loneliness is beyond describing. I'm thinking only time is going to help. I find some relief in reading my Bible, God is a friend to the widow and widower he understands our pain, and grieves with us. Think only of the good times, and know that God has placed your guy in a safe place, to wait for the return of Christ, and that he'll be raised in the last day to reunite with you for ever more IT HELPS

 

Sometimes grief whispers, but sometimes it screams. My Condolences

 

There's alot more screaming right now. Thank you for the reply, it helps to know that someone is listening. God Bless

 

The loneliness is painful. I lost my best friend, less then a month later I had to put down my 13 wk old puppy, and now am dealing with the affects of assault while still trying to cope and learn to live again. I try to believe in all of it, I do, but the pain is just too great. It’s agonizing. Thank you, I hope the best for you as well