I miss her so much

Have to say enjoying ll the Godfather movies. Back when I used to like stuff they were some on my fav movies (not 3! No!) Nurse practitioner sounds like the thing. Ever since Valerie. Ever since the Kovid. I do not trust in hospitals. Something has to take my (way reduced) wrath. I wish I could be more helpful. More supportive. Barelt keeping it together lately. Don't drive thru any tollbooths elder brother!

 

The only time I ever felt approaching normal was a few hits of something. I wish it would continue I wind up feeling sick and depressed. I realize and try to accept that normal is never coming back. I'm so sick of hearing a new normal. I just want to be myself again. I don't know who I am. I used to like stuff. Be interested in stuff. I don't anymore. i'm not happy sily or wacky anymore. I don't want to talk much cuz I always hear the same old platitudes. I don;t like entertainment any more. I don't like anything except my son. I do this for him. The only thing I still care about. My world as shrunk down so much! I lost my kidneys and careert, my wife, now my house. I am totally onley but have no clue what to do about it. Winter just plain sucks in this west subUrban Chicago wasteLand..

 

Thanks, George, woke up with painful
cough & sore throat, and had hot BIGELOW
tea, with Honey bee ( in bear bottle). I gave
up driving. bc of my meds, which made
me sleepy. Linda & I took The Ride, a
van which cost a minimal amount for
seniors, especially for someone with a walker. Lou

 

The weather is just awful. Endless clouds and metallic looking skies. More snow on the way. Use the foot pedal thingie for Ron. He would have wanted you to use it. Just like Valerie autoOrdered me Quest bars. Everytime I ate one I thought of her. No one gets how much we miss our spouses (except other GWs). I think. Everytime I try to talk for real with anyone they just don't get it and I keep hearing the same boring platitudes. This is so hard for all of us lately!

 

George, you have every right to be bitter,
angry, and lonely, in this seemingly
endless, cold, dark winter, Deb will be returning soon . I want to borrow her
famous, funny, phrase: Winter "SUCKS,TIME!!! I envy Chad's Texas
heat! Lou

 

I figured you didn't drive. I'm the only one I know who does. MTB doesn't nor does the GF. Valerie didn't Back when I had friends the two "best" ones who deserted me didn't drive. Sono busses through tollBooths Mr. Sonny-Pantz!

I think the honey in the bear is way cool. I remember those from when I was a kid. Valerie hated honey. She hated a lot of stuff I realized! Oh well.

I hope the throat feels better with siome tea and lubrication. Waking up is always the worst time for a cold! and at night!

Happy New Years Eve!!! ???

 

Linda cared for me when I was sick. I recall her many foods , & liquids, which
made me feel better, and do, slowly. today.
Mostly, I'm grateful for suggestions from
Robin. Gary, and Karen. Lou

 

Agreed! Morning, going to sleep at night, and forced to wake up, from coughing.
Just looked at green , yellow phlegm. As
Linda would say "Yummy!" & we'd both
laugh. I don't really like the smell & taste of honey, so I use a small amount. May our
our next New Year's, 2023, find us better
off ..........Lou

 

That's one of the hardest things! No one to care for you when you are sick. That's why I can't get sick. (I know that's irrational!... Being a teacher I've been exposed to everything so my immune system is pretty damn good. I don't want to compromise this!) I'm glad you get support from GIC TGWs.
I don't want to hate.
I want my Self back!
I I want to live my Values again!
I don't know how to do any of the above right now!

 

Valerie would have said the same thing about tasty Phlegm! Emotionally and physically better! Yes!

 

Thank you for that. I know you’re right. Ron wants me to use it. He ordered it for a reason. And it wasn’t for me to look at it and cry. I love that Valerie auto ordered quest bars for you. Special gift that keeps on giving. I’ve only used the pedal exerciser a few times. I’m going to push and use it. Get my blood flowing without going out in the cold. You’re right, no one gets how much we miss our spouses. The pain is overwhelming. It’s not rocket science to figure out that losing our other half is so painful there’s no words to explain it. Yet people haven’t felt it so they don’t get it.
At least on here we have company and help each other. Robin

 

Lou, First of all! Yuck!! but good that you’re getting it out. Try rinsing/gargling with salt water.
Keep doctoring. Feel better Robin

 

Thank you Robin! I appreciate hearing that from you, and not trying to give me platitudes like "live one day-at-a-time" I know this and try to live by it but I'm so sick of clueless people. It's hard to believe I used to be interested in stuff!

 

Haha. Yeah. Hobbies, what hobbies? What interests. Nothing is of interest any more. Even my kids don’t understand that even though I used to love to cook now who cares. I cooked for Ron for happy times. I can’t even concentrate to read. You understand, Lou,Gary, Karen, Patti etc etc etc. and 100’s of people on here understand. Other. Not so much. I’m better then 3 yrs ago and 2 yrs ago. But it doesn’t take much to be back in that pain. Loneliness sucks.
We’ll get through. Robin

 

Robin, I know you don't want to cook for
yourself, but you are such a kind, caring
woman, that if I appeared on your doorstep ( after full recovery of being
sick), you would make me a big pot of
chicken soup! My appetite isn't back to
normal yet, but I have been enjoying
different soups, which make me feel better,
along with your suggested honey, to go with my hot tea. Lou

 

George. you continue to be a funny,
sarcastic guy. You probably had to return
The Widower's Notebook, but maybe you
could borrow it again, or buy it, like I did.You could relate to the chapter, " Stupid
Things said by Smart People". There are s
lot of funny passages in Jonathan's book,
well worth rereading. Lou

 

DeB She Kool! I hope she be havin' some gooder times that suck lessier. I am enjoying an alone NYE w/ Tb he's off with a friend! Great I say. I got supplies gprae bars and Iced Creme. I good so far. Hope you feeling better!

 

Oh yes I know TWN ! I should get me a copy at the Half Price Books or something! I read it like twice while I had it from the LaGrange Library. I miss LaGrange... didja know that! I miss my wife a whole helluva lot more. Drink much juice! It's good for you! and honey tea!

 

Thank you for the sage message! I think I'll get a bit better after this endless holiday time of fun and frolicks subsides. I just have such a blank spot to all the Holiday Hype. Now just gonna unwind for the rest of the day and enjoy some true alone time , except on GIC!

 

Thank you Lou, and yes I would. I would definitely make you a big pot of chicken soup. That’s actually the last meal I made for Ron. He had 3 helpings and loved it! I’m glad you’re having soup and that it helps some, along with hot tea and honey. I’m hearing so many people are sick I had my daughter pick up some things for me just in case. Continue to take care, Robin