Grief quotes of the day

Good Morning Lou, I just need to talk and vent if I might... Yesterday I went to my Dr. he prescribed me an antidepressant because I was crying when I talked about Geoff last moments before his last breath. I just can't believe some people in the medical field are so incopetent! Later on I googled to see the effects of this medication. They should never give this prescription to a person which is grieving!!!!!, so I decided not to take it. Helena

 

Helena, good for you! You may want to tell
your doctor how insensitive he was. My
grief counselor distinguished between
people who are grieving & those who
are depressed. As we are well aware,
people who grieve , can be lonely and
depressed, but not all depressed people
are grieving. If your doctor doesn't get
that, it may be time to find a new one.
You can vent to me anytime. Lou

 

Having a string of rough days.
I think our anniversary caught me unexpectedly….
Half way between the equinox & solstice.
~B

 

My heart goes out to you, Bernadine. I
was a basket case, at 6 months, 1 year,
and even 2 years. On the 2nd year
anniversary of Linda's death, I had been
drinking more, staying out later,losing
sleep , & getting more depressed. My
grief counselor suggested I stop drinking,
and I did. It's been a year & a half of
sobriety. I feel healthier, and even
happier ,now , 3 & a half years since
Linda's death. Like all TGW, however,
I still have to withstand the waves of
grief, and try to "swim parallel to the
shore". Lou

 

I understand B. One year ago today I was Cheryl’s first responder. A few days ago I was thinking it was going to be just another day but it isn’t. Brother Mark niece Laura and myself visited Cheryl’s resting place yesterday. It is a 20 minute walk from the parking lot in a remote area in a woods on the side of a hill over looking a quiet lake. The wild flowers and birds confirmed I chose the right location to return Cheryl to The Great Earth Mother. If all goes according to plan our dust will be reunited there. And the band played on. Gary

 

Gary, woke up in middle of night & read
your reply to Bernadine. It was very
moving. Thank you. Back to sleep....Lou

 

I was reading "The Daily Reflection" May 6; I also would like to share another a few quotes from Samuel Becket.

"Perhaps that's what I fell, an outside and an inside and me in the middle, perhaps that's what I am, the thing that divides the world in two, on the one side the outside. on the other the inside, that can be as thin as foil, I'm neither one side nor the other, I'm in the middle, I'm the partition, I have two surfaces and no thickness, perhaps that's what I feel, myself vibrating, I'm the tympanum, on the one hand the mind, on the other the world, I don't belong to either."

"Memories are killing. So you must not think of certain things, of those that are dear to you, or rather you must think of them, for if you don't there is the danger of finding them, in your mind, little by little."

"Words and images run riot in my head, pursuing, flying, clashing, merging, endlessly. But beyond this tumult there is a great calm, and a great indifference never really to be troubled by anything again".

"Yes, in my life, since we must call it so, there were three things, the inability to speak, the inability to be silent, and solitude, that's what I've had to make to best of."

"I am interested in the shape of ideas even if I do not believe in them. There is a wonderful sentence in Augustine...'Do not despair: one of the thieves was saved; do not presume; one of the thieves was damned' That sentence had a wonderful shape. It is the shape that matters."

 

So both of our partners died in the between times. Half way between solstice and equinox, equinox and solstice.
In the older traditions these are thin veil times. When the border between here and there is finer and permeable. Fire festivals, bonfires or candles and communication outside time.
I feel such deep gratitude for life in transition right now; the cycles of beginning and ending.
I love that you felt a confirmation of her resting place from the natural world.
It seems your plans to join her in that space is honored, however things turn out.
~B

 

Beautiful, in its' simplicity, & so true.
Thank you, Helena. I did my morning
cry, in sweet memory of Linda, & pushed
my sorry ass out the door, to enjoy the
day, as she would have wanted for me. L

 

Lou, first thing in the morning I just think another day and I'm still here, I read some positive quotes to make me feel better, sometimes I cry, my love of my life it's not here... I just can't imagine you have been grieving for three and a half years without Linda; for me three months feels like an eternity...now I'm really crying, no body to listen. I know here the warriors always help me when I reach and post my thoughts of this deep sadness. Helena

 

Greetings TGW. I’m currently reading the hospice volunteer training manual and I was shocked when I read what is on the photo I posted. Grief can be fatal. This makes me want to try harder at healing. Gary

 

Helena, I came up with The Grief Warriors
(TGW) to descibe us , in our daily battles
with Mr. Grief ( Karen's term). We're
always here for each other.I bring my
Smart Phone wherever I go. I'm taking
a few minutes to stop, sit down on a
bench, listening to the soothing sound
of a nearby waterfall. It's a perfect place
to pause, and respond to you, and other GW. , Lou

 

I'm afraid of that...but for a broken heart what its the solution? just grief in silence...going to the doctor just give antidepressants...I know I have a long way to go, but been totally alone probably will take me a long long long time!

 

Thanks Lou, looks that you have a nice peaceful surroundings. Like I mentioned yesterday, even my family doctor just think that a cure for my grieving its to take antidepressant and visit him in two weeks. I told him I have been healthy most if my adult life, I don't take any medication and his answer you have to take this mild capsule, I left the office, now I will cancel the next appointment and look for a better doctor or a grieving counselor. H

 

Good for you, Helena! We GW have been
through too much to be pushed around.
My first counselor was an unfeeling man,
near retirement. My gut told me that the
1st meeting, but I was broken, & went 2
more times. At the 3rd & final session ,
I said it wasn't working. He asked, "Is it
bc you don't find me empathetic enough?"
YA THINK??!! I said yes, & found a kind
psychiatric nurse practitioner / grief
counselor who let me cry, then suggested
books, and finally, GIC. Her warmth &
encouragement sent me on my grief
journey. Recently, I sent her a card to
thank her for pointing the way to GIC. I'm
proud of you. Log

 

GOOD MORNING GW
I never experienced motherhood but I did have a mother and a grandmother!, here are a few quotes for mothers and grandmothers

"All that I am, or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." - Abraham Lincoln
"Mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled." - Emily Dickinson
"Mother the most beautiful word on the lips of mankind." - Kahil Gibran
"Motherhood is the exquisite inconvenience of bein another person's everything." - Unknown
"We are born of love; love is our mother." - Rumi

GRANDMOTHER QUOTES

"A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend." Unknown
"Grandmothers always have time to talk and made you feel special." Catherine Pulsifer
"If nothing is going well, call your grandmother." - Italian Proverb
"Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete." Marcy DeMaree
"Grandmothers are the people who take delight in hearing babies breathing into the telephone." - Unknown

 

Helena, my grandmother was wonderful,
had a warm marriage, & showed unconditional love toward me. I'm blessed
to have known her & my grandfather.
Even though they died when I was in
high school, I can picture their kind
faces & smiles today. I wish Linda had
met them.Her mother & mine were very
disappointing, bc they did not share in our
happiness, so we didn't invite them to our
wedding. Linda & I did not celebrate
either Mother's Day, or Father's Day. I
walkby the greeting cards & treat these
days, as "just one day"...........Lou

 

Lou, my grandmother was also a very nice kind, compassionate person, I have the best memories of her of my childhood, my mother was my mother... she didn't showed her love to me, five kids to take care, showing preference for one of the kids. I left my home when I got married; mother passed away when I was 8000 thousand miles away I couldn't attend to her funeral and that affect me for the next ten years, she used to come to my dreams and tortured me with why, why....so now that Geoff died those memories have returned to my mind ABANDONMENT, I had to tell my story, as I know everybody its more compassionate than any doctor or counselor. Thanks for listening!