Climbing out of the "Great Dismal Swamp" of Grief. What is a toaster doing in a swamp?

Climbing out of the “Great Dismal Swamp” of Grief. What is a toaster doing in a swamp?

The Great Dismal Swamp in coastal Virginia is a National Wildlife Refuge that is not far from where I live. My son and I have gone hiking there and at the entrance of the park there is an unmistakable warning about frequent bear encounters. The first time we went we saw the sign and decided that others on bikes had a better idea. We looked at each other, laughed and returned home to get the bikes. I couldn’t help but wonder, did any of those people really encounter a bear? The sign was kind of like going to the dentist. You know you’re going to get hurt, but you go anyway because preventative care will be less painful, and costly, than not going. But not always. So perhaps whoever put up that sign about the bear knew there was only one in the park. Well, isn’t one bear more than enough? After all, it could wander around the entire park all day long and be seen frequently. The direction given by the park was sensible – be alert.

There’s a lot more to the Great Dismal Swamp than bears. As a wildlife refuge, it is a place where one can go to view all kinds of life in its natural habitat. It’s beautiful out there, now. But it didn’t used to be. The swamp was an arduous passing for those fleeing slavery. It was occupied by the Confederate Army, consumed by a philosophy repugnant to millions of Americans, and here we are 160 years later still talking about those days of darkness and death in the black goo of the foggy bottoms of a ‘Refuge’. Yeah, I bit my lip and shook my head too.

So, what is a toaster doing in a swamp? There might be only one person in the world who can answer that question. But I can tell you, there are two people, and I’m the other. You just never know what someone manages to pull out of a swamp, that changes a life. It’s a terrible experience when a fire breaks out in the Great Dismal Swamp. Sometimes the smoke is so thick it hurts your eyes, and you can’t see what you’re doing. You hope that those fighting the fire do know what they are doing. They need to know which way the wind is blowing and from which direction it may come from an hour, 6 hours, a day or several days later. Following directions and playing by the rules reduces risk. In the Great Dismal Swamp listening to the rangers as they warn about the bears could save a life. By obeying the rules in the park, we protect all kinds of life from arrogant acts of defiance – and harm. Unfortunately, if you’ve ever watched Dateline ID on TV, you may know that the Great Dismal Swamp is a place where innocent people have lost their lives. So, whenever I tell someone about how beautiful the Dismal Swamp is, I tell them the whole truth, because they deserve to know. I do try to encourage people to visit the park, on a bike. It’s a good place to witness fragile life and reflect on the truth.

A toaster is an interesting appliance. You don’t have to replace it often. They can last years. They always come in a box with directions that few bother to read. But they do their own thing while you do something else. They just pop up seemingly out of nowhere, even in conversations where they do not belong. If you don’t give the toaster power, you need not ever worry about a fire, one that can ruin a slice of bread. But if you do, and you didn’t read the directions, you risk ruining that slice of bread, because the wrong setting will leave the bread black and burnt. When that happens, you’ll toss it in the sink. There it will become a black soggy goo and vanish into the unknown leaving you hungry, for the truth. You might just count your blessings that you still have a life, and even a voice to go with it.

Where is your refuge in your grief? Is it in a park, in a sanctuary, your voice, or in a swamp?

Were you screaming in grief and still not heard? Pssst! I’m listening.