Asshole Dad and the Grief that Comes with the kind man he was too.

My father passed away last year and it feels like I'm trying to find peace and I'm trying to find Solace and I'm trying to find me in all of this. Everyday I wake up and I don't feel anything anymore. I don't feel the same and I know that's how it goes but I don't know how to let it go and I don't know how to live with it either. My father passed away last year. To my older & younger sisters he was a rock, their rock and to me he was mean and a rock but worn. And also, I remember that he may have sexually abused me when I was a kid. So it's a double whammy here. I've been trying to read this self help books about the art of living and I just feel defeated and like I don't know how to do this.