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Why?????

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Harley1, Sep 29, 2020.

  1. Harley1

    Harley1 Member

    Hi!!
    Hope the weekend was ok.
    Mine was pretty busy which I was glad. Baby steps like you said.
    How are the plans coming for New York? I have not ventured anywhere either since this Covid but I think that’s more because I’m afraid of planes lol.
    My sister and I usually drive to places no longer than 5 hours. That’s the longest I can stand being in a car. But with everything that happened a trip hasn’t really mattered,
    I do hope you get to go though.
     
    Kathleen 56 likes this.
  2. Kathleen 56

    Kathleen 56 Active Member

    The ride to New York is the over 13 hours. So it will take some planning. Plus you have to quarantine for 14 days. The Department of Health checks on you daily. Crazy. My daughter is trying to find a place for me to stay. I prefer to be somewhere independent. Need my car to get places. Plus winter weather is coming there. Hopefully I can go. Need a break from here and the nonsense of a HOA. They are nightmares. Wish I knew this before. I don’t go out but am starting to walk every day. Baby steps. I am glad your weekend went fast. Keeping busy helps. Did you enjoy your grandchildren? My oldest grandsons are so excited I am planning a trip. They miss me. I have one friend in New York who has all sorts of things planned. The kids come first. Plus if I stay in a apartment free I will have to travel to see any body. But motel rooms get pricey. I hope you are doing good. Keep me posted.
     
  3. Harley1

    Harley1 Member

     
  4. Harley1

    Harley1 Member

    Hi!
    Oh that’s not as far as I thought. I thought it would be a longer drive. I so hope you get to go. That would be nice for you. A change you could use!
    I’m hoping it all works out for you! I bet your grandsons are beyond excited to see you!
    I had a great time with my two grandkids!
    So what’s wrong with a HOA. I maybe down grading and having that? Is that the Association Fee you pay monthly?
    I hope your daughter finds you a place to stay because your so right that motel stuff can be expensive. It will be nice for you to see your friend and get to go places with her
    I’m excited for you! Keep me posted!
     
    Kathleen 56 likes this.
  5. Kathleen 56

    Kathleen 56 Active Member

    13 hours in a car is a nightmare for me. If I fly I can only bring a few things. Then big brother is watching. New York is a nightmare. Plus I need a car to travel since the apartment is about 45 minutes away from the kids. I am sight limited and it’s frustrating. But I manage. I live in a golf resort. It was nice in the beginning but it’s going downhill fast. They are not keeping up the place. Filling in the pools. Owners buy but rent out for extra income. So now you have bug issues and cutting down trees. They visitors bring dogs. Let them poop every place including your patio. Don’t pick it up. They take your furniture and grill. Stole our cooler with the kids drinks. Nobody does anything about it and they don’t replace it. It has its ups and downs. But I will go back to a house at some time. I will take the snow ⛄️ over this. lol.
     
  6. Harley1

    Harley1 Member


    Yes the car ride does not sound fun but it will all be worth it. Oh sorry to hear that about your sight.
    That’s terrible that they don’t care about the grounds there anymore. Sounds like it be a really nice place. I Can’t believe that they steal stuff too. I just like the idea how you don’t have to do anything outside work. You know like mow your lawn do the weeds , blow the leafs, soon it will be shoveling snow that kind of stuff. I’m tired of that stuff. And I’ve only Been doing it for six months. My husband did all that before.
    It’s not a fun job I don’t think. So you’ve been to New York before? When do you plan on going this time?
     
    Kathleen 56 likes this.
  7. Kathleen 56

    Kathleen 56 Active Member

    I am originally from New York State. Schenectady Country is where I grew up. It was a great place to live and raise a family. That’s where my family is. Hopefully I can visit. The taxes are to high unless you make a large income. Many people struggle. Living in a HOA has advantages. Just do your research and you will be fine. Here the Covid. The greed and people not doing their job is the issue. They just keep building and cutting the trees down. No new pool etc. I am hoping that will change. But I will leave if I have to. Having a rough day. Family is always a problem. I envy people who have support and loving siblings. It is what it is. I just have to feel the pain ,deal with the anger and try to heal. Baby steps. Hopefully you are having a good day. Downsizing is a difficult but good idea.
     
  8. Harley1

    Harley1 Member

    My sister left Illinois because of the taxes. They just couldn’t do it. They went to Arkansas where it’s way more reasonable. Sone areas are so rediculous with high taxes. Sorry you were having a bad day. I don’t even know you but I can’t understand why your siblings are not kinder because of the warmness you show others how can they not adore you. It boggles my mind.
    I hope today goes better. I will definitely research before I get in a HOA
     
    Kathleen 56 likes this.
  9. Kathleen 56

    Kathleen 56 Active Member

    Things like greed, selfishness and just plan old unhappy can make you think way. It’s a trait that runs in my family sadly. Enough of it for me. I spent my life doing right by people. Not hating. They spent their lives hating and self absorbed. I think I might be adopted. lol. How are you doing. It’s Tuesday. The week starting out okay? The weather here is finally a bit cooler. In the mid 70s to 85. You never know how to dress. I am able to walk around a few times a day and believes that it helps. You have a good day and keep in touch. Thank you for listening to me.
     
  10. Harley1

    Harley1 Member



    I think your definitely adopted. Lol
    It’s going ok today. Oh wow we got real cool last week and this week is going to be better, I’m a big fan of 60-70’s. I’m not a sun or heat person at all!!
    I love the fall and spring but neither of those last long. That’s good you’ll be able to get some walks in.
    I enjoy our chats! So thank you too!!
     
    Kathleen 56 likes this.
  11. Kathleen 56

    Kathleen 56 Active Member

    Glad you had a okay day. The weather here has been unusually cooler. I am walking some everyday. But the sun is still hot. With the pools closed it’s difficult to tolerate. So I am trying to find shade to walk. The cutting down of so many trees is terrible in my opinion. They building like mad. The home prices have gone up. Who can afford those places is a mystery to me. I am still planning a trip to New York. My thoughts are drive as much as I can each day. Then stop. It will take me 2 years. lol. I want to follow the coast down to Virginia Beach. Then hopefully go from there. This might not happen until the end of the month. Decided to have my eyes looked at before and find a dentist. I just might stay until after the holidays. My husband does not like to celebrate them. I need my family on those days. Last year I spent Christmas alone. It was not fun. Plus I want to see the foliage. Bring my older grandsons to our favorite food spot. Keeping my fingers crossed. Plus pay respect to my daughter. It’s been awhile since I visited. You can’t leave anything at her grave. They throw it out. I am bringing something. It will make me feel better. Hopefully you can have a better day. Baby steps.
     
  12. Harley1

    Harley1 Member





    I’m not a big fan Either of cutting down trees.
    Doesn’t seem right. You’re not kidding the prices of homes are outrageous. I always wonder who the heck can afford this kind of stuff. And would I really want something that big anyways because I don’t want to clean all that! Lol But I guess if you have a house that big you probably can afford a maId. Give me something small and quaint I’d be happy as long as it has essentials in it.
    Good idea on getting those eyes checked before a road trip like that. Oh that would be wonderful if you could stay all that time. Be with the boys and your family for the holidays that’s great.
    Yeah the holidays these will be my first ones coming up with no Jimmy. That’s my husbands name I’m sure you figured that out LOL
    I was actually thinking about spending it alone I just don’t think I wanna be around other people Christmas was our favorite holiday. We used to go crazy on gifts for the kids and now I can’t even buy a thing. Believe it or not I would’ve been done Christmas shopping already that’s how early I start.
    Just thinking about the holidays it’s so sad. I know you can relate to that.
    That will be nice that you’ll get to visit your daughters site too. I’d bring a little something to even if they throw it out doesn’t have to be anything extravagant.
    Bet your grandsons are beyond excited that you’re going to come.My fingers are definitely staying crossed because I am so hoping you get to do this!
    Hope you’re able to get out a little bit today and it’s not too hot. Hope your day is good
     
  13. Harley1

    Harley1 Member

    Hey just checking on you I didn’t hear from you I hope Everything’s OK. Well as OK as it can be right
    Let me know your OK
     
  14. Harley1

    Harley1 Member

    Ok now I’m worried about ya. Let me know something.
     
  15. Harley1

    Harley1 Member

    Hi! Another’s day I didn’t hear anything.
    Needless to say I’m very worried and praying your ok.
    I won’t continue to bother you but just let me know something when your able too