Why now?

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Fhockey6, Dec 24, 2019.

  1. Fhockey6

    Fhockey6 New Member

    I lost my boyfriend on thanksgiving this year in a car crash and now I’m all alone at Christmas. He bought me a ring I was meant to get yet his mother won’t answer me at all. My heart is in a million pieces and everyone around us is happy I’m trying my best yet I don’t know what to do. Where do I go now and how do I make this hurt just a little less? I just miss him so much.
  2. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    So sorry for your loss. I know the holidays are very difficult when you lose a loved one. I am alone this Christmas too. This is the first holiday I spent without my sister who lived with me and was my best friend. We were extremely close. I am trying to keep myself busy around the house and avoid the television where it seems like everyone else is celebrating .. that is hard to take. The holidays will pass but grief takes a while to deal with. There is no time frame in your feelings and the hurt in your heart will remain. You will eventually move on but you will never forget. Try to focus on the good times. Wishing you the best.
  3. Sheila512

    Sheila512 Well-Known Member

    You ask how can you hurt a little less. Instead of avoiding your grief, try and just let it wash over you so you can get through it. That is not to imply at we ever get over it, it just means we get more used to our new normal. Your loved one impacted you greatly. Why should s/he stop doing that? My love continues to help me heal. I look at his smiling face on my screen saver daily. I talk to him and I talk about him. If people don't want to hear it, tough. The people who love me allow and welcome my comments about him and how he would have acted or what he would have said. I am the person I am because of his influence. I loved this man with every fiber. I was with him every day for 4 years in a dreaded nursing home and I loved going to see him every day. I knew he would smile when he saw me and that was my daily reward. Someone gave me great idea. Do something for someone in his honor. If you can't give $$ charity, donate some time, visit someone in a nursing home, do something that he would approve of and do it in his honor. Pay for someone's groceries ...pay it forward. I am truly sorry for everyone's losses and hope everyone can find some kind of peace. ( Sure, I still cry and have bad days, but look at my posted picture. That is us in 1959 at Steve' senior prom. I was just 14 and he was 15..what a guy.)
    cg123 likes this.