Eight months ago, on September 13th, 2017, I lost my mother. After being told my mom was getting better and was going to be able to come home (three years she was fighting for her life, because doctors didn't know what was wrong with her.) I understand grieving has no time limit, but i feel like i'm still stuck in denial of losing her. I can't understand how one day i got told she was going to live, then the next she was just gone. She died because a doctor made a mistake, and because of that mistake she went brain dead and we had to let her go. My mom died in my arms.. and i never felt so helpless in my entire life. People say when you lose someone you love, it's like losing a part of your heart, but that day i lost my entire life, i watched as it died right in my arms and there was nothing i could do. Every time i see a picture of her, i can't accept she's gone, a part of me wants to believe this is just a dream and it never happened, then another part of me knows she isn't here anymore. I don't know what to do to make myself believe she really is gone. My mom was only 47 years old, and everyone kept saying she was too young for anything to be wrong with her, but clearly, you can never be too young for anything. When people tell me she's still here, she's looking down on me or next to me, i get so annoyed because i feel like no one understands what i feel when i get told that. She may still be here spiritually, but i will never be able to hug her again, kiss her, call her when i'm sad. What do i do, to make myself realize she's gone..?
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother, I lost my father only 3 days ago now (June 1st) and I still can't believe it's real. I feel like numb and I'm going over and over everything in my head thinking of things I should have done differently and times I should have spent more time with him. I can't get the image of my father on the floor in the living room out of my head and I am overwhelmed with the thought that he was so scared and didn't want to die. He was battling cancer but didn't want to go, wasn't ready to go, and we didn't get enough time with him. I totally can relate to the feeling that this is a dream that didn't happen, I keep pinching myself and hoping I will get a text from my dad that says "hey hun how are you?" like I used to every day. My dad was only 55, he had so much more life to live. I can totally relate when you say it's annoying when people say "he's always with you", I understand that thought but that doesn't make me feel any better because he isn't here, I can't call him or text him I cant hug him or watch football games with him. I just don't know how to cope with him being gone, how do I just go back to normal life when life isn't normal anymore?
