Two months later and no one wants to hear about my sadness and grief anymore

I am so very sorry for your loss. Yesterday was 3 months that I lost my love and. It a word was said. They knew because I mentioned it over the weekend but not a single acknowledgement. It adds to the hurt. I know people feel uncomfortable but what about us. Don’t our feelings of gut wrenching pain and life altering grief count for anything? It’s like they’re afraid to crack open that door because we might push it open all the way and then they would have to deal with our sadness. Seems selfish to me. Not that I want to be the center is the universe but a simple ‘thinking of you’ would be nice. Sending hugs

 

It’s a multifaceted loss. The past, the present and the future. Every day is just filled with loss.

 

My husband of 40 years passed in a car accident 16 months ago. I feel like I am not expected to still be grieving. I know my family loves me, but they dont and cant feel what I am going through.

 

I’m so sorry for your loss! I feel your sadness. We will grieve until the day we die that’s just how it works. So sad our families can’t understand the pain. Sending you hugs!

 

I am so sorry for your loss. I am experiencing the exact same thing. My husband of 30 years passed away very unexpectedly on November 9th He also passed from a stroke. We have been together since we were teenagers. The pain is so excruciating and the few people that I thought would be there for me are acting the same way you are describing. I want to talk about my Mike. Our lives together ,the joy and love we shared as well as the continuous pain and hurt I now live with every minute of every day. I am brand new to this site. But,please please know that you are ALWAYS welcome to contact and talk with me I need to talk too. So please anytime day or night .. I don't really sleep much.

 

Hi Beth
I am so very sorry for your loss. Yes, excruciating is the word. It rocks you to your core and not being able to talk about it to anyone just adds to the pain. Sure there are support groups but there’s something about talking to someone who knew you both that is more personal. I’m here for you, as well, regardless. I know what you are going through. I’m sorry those around you are not offering the support you need and deserve.

 

Hi Beth,
I am sorry for you loss ! And yes I do understand I lost my husband to cancer he was 45 ! Sometimes I feel like maybe the people around us are tired of hearing about our pain our suffering as if we should have it together ! Be over it ! Life goes attitude but it's just not like that at all ! I am new to this site as I find it difficult to actually find people who can understand. Everyone's situation is different in some way but we all seem to suffer the same. Sometimes I do feel alone too even though I have family and friends but at the end of the day it's just me and my two kids the rest of the world goes on. I am hopeful I can connect with others on this site to help with this grieving process !

 

Hi Scorpio
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so unfair. I hate when someone asks me how I’m doing and when I answer honestly they’re like why, what’s wrong? Are you serious? The fact that I can get out of bed every day is a flipping miracle. Sending hugs -Doreen

 

I know it's so crazy I feel the same way ! Sometimes I feel like everyone should feel my pain and yes to get out of bed and push through the day because everyone says that's what you have to do! I have no clue who I am anymore and when you are doing just ok or did you hair and makeup oh things must be ok!! Wrong! It's not ok it never will be brushing my teeth is not the same !

 

absolutely. Nothing is the same anymore and we feel the pain of that like 1,000 knives over and over and over. And yes- people think oh she smiled half a smile today. She must be over it. With great love there is greater loss. My heart will never be the same

 

I lost my husband October 19 2019 from a major mistake done by a dr there is currently a lawsuit and I to am having the same problem everybody was calling or coming over the first couple of weeks and now they don't even return text messages I was told by one at the 1 month anniversary that I had been sad long enough and needed to start getting on with my life haha my head and heart is still shattered in a million pieces even my daughter who lives with me gets upset when I talk about my husband but it's the only thing that somewhat makes me feel better I send him messages on Facebook messenger I wear his shirts and coats I even buy his body wash and use it just so I can smell him half the time I feel like I'm going crazy...maybe I am but I want you to know that you are not alone

 

I am so very sorry for your loss. I just don’t understand the people around me. It sounds like it’s so common that loved ones are supportive at the time of our losses but then the empathy disappears. I don’t get it. I also send text messages to my love but stopped because it hurt too much not to get a reply. I am badly triggered when I’m somewhere and hear his text and/or ring tone on someone’s phone.
I also wash my clothes in his detergent so I can still smell him. We need to feel that connection and that’s ok. I talk about him all the time and hate the icy silence from my family but I need to talk about him and will keep doing it. Sending you hugs!!

 

When telling something I did recently, I still say we..then have to correct myself and say not we, I did whatever. Which then triggers such deep feelings of grief, it overwhelms mr..its been 16 months. He passed in a car accident.

 

Sandy, I still catch myself saying "we". It's been three years and 9 months.

 

I could not have explained my state any better than what you just have in this post, nothing has ever hurt this much..

 

I’m so very sorry for your loss. Every day is an unknown. The pain is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I miss my love so much. I’m a fixer- I’m the person people go to when they need help and I can’t help myself. I just have to feel it and re-live my loss every day. Sending you hugs.

 

Losing a loved one is like losing part of yourself. Your heart is broken and it is an effort to get through each day and to think of a future without that person is unbearable.

 

Exactly!!!

 

Thinking of the future is one of the things that will break me down, unbearable is what it is. For me it's only been a month since my sweetheart passed but it somehow feels longer, I can't hear her voice or bear to look at photo's. Scares the hell out of me.....