Veteran's of Grief to me are the ones here on this forum who have passed year 1,2,3 and beyond who have gone through stages and have passed on their stories and hopes and encouragement for us who are new to our loss. Like Veterans' of War, war is over, dealt is over, but the memories and grief live on in stages. What I'm trying to say here is, I'm one of the new grievers. My husband died three months ago to cancer. I've found the people here who have gone beyond in years have some really positive things to help us newbies. I feel their is light beyond the tunnel of darkness, sadness and tears, it's not hopeless as it seems, I have to believe as many have seen the light. Be patient, one day at a time, be kind to yourself--I try. I encourage new losses to keep reading the forum. The forum is my hope. To me it's my rock that things will get better. Thanking everyone for your encouragement and to you Song Man, for your music and writings.
It will be two years on October 18th since I lost Janet (my best friend and the love of my life) to brain cancer. It's still a day to day process. With the encouragement of my Hospice Grief Counselor, Joanie, I found an outlet away from my grief, that helped me work my way out of the all-consuming pain of loss. My respite has been music and the written word. When Joanie found out that I used to write poetry to Janet, she urged me to continue writing about my feelings as a therapy of sorts. It worked. I have embraced music and poetry (mostly written as a tribute to Janet). This "therapy" has evolved into songwriting. I have published two songs (with one more in the studio). This activity has helped me to occupy my mind, and has been a very useful tool in combatting my grief. I still encounter triggers which elicit tears, but those episodes are waning. Keep your mind busy. Find things that you enjoy and go for it. Bill
First layer of my new song, Affirmation. https://songbackup.s3.amazonaws.com...766311&Signature=fT5nDouaVw+eC3poL3OfJ4ou+0s=
We just added some purposely understated drums, and will layer in some upright bass before adding guitar, bluesy organ, and laid-back trumpet. The lead vocals will be performed by Stevie who has a wonderful , get down, female voice. I may add more background vocals later, depending how things develop. I think the whole process is interesting, and hope that it might add some distraction away from your pain of loss.
Revised lyrics to fit the song structure Affirmation Bill Lathrop (2020) When I watched you die, I found it was OK to cry, but I didn’t understand why, I am still here breathing, when it was you and not me, who was leaving... Am I singing the right notes? Am I sharing the right words? Are you here with me… or is this all just for the birds? I know in my heart, you are real…that’s why I have absorbed your strength, like un-bending steel. You are my affirmation… you… are my light at close of day…You are my reason for living...You’re why I chose to stay. You are my guide for what follows, and, whether right or wrong… you’re the only reason I have for writing this song. You inspired love within me. You’ve sown seeds of compassion in my life, and now and forever… you’ll be my shield against strife. You ARE my affirmation, my cause for moving on, until we reach that point, where all fear is gone, and we can journey to what comes next, while we take shelter in a love filled nest, waiting, until God sends us…to our final test. When I watched you die, I found it was OK to cry, but I didn’t understand why, I am here alive and breathing, when it was you, and not me, who was leaving. I just could not fathom why… you would die… and not… I.
Revision: Bill Lathrop (2020) Affirmation Bill Lathrop (2020) When I watched you die, I found it was OK to cry, but I didn’t understand why I am still breathing, when it was you and not me who was leaving... Am I singing the right notes? Am I sharing the right words? Are you here with me… or is this all just for the birds? No matter what you believe in When you know you are leavin’ There’s a whole different story to tell. I know in my heart, that you are real…that’s why I embrace your strength like un-bending steel. You are my affirmation… you… are my light at close of day…You are my reason for living...You’re why I chose to stay. You are my guide for what follows, and, whether right or wrong… you’re the only reason I have for writing this song. You inspired love within me. You’ve sown seeds of caring in my life, and now and forever… you are my armor against strife. You ARE my affirmation, my cause for moving on, until we reach that point, where all fear is gone. Then… we can go to what’s next, while we rest in the refuge, of a love filled nest… waiting… until God sends us to… our final test. And as my tears run dry, I’ll find out why…it wasn’t my time to die… Bill Lathrop (2020) When I watched you die, I found it was OK to cry, but I didn’t understand why I am still breathing, when it was you and not me who was leaving... Am I singing the right notes? Am I sharing the right words? Are you here with me… or is this all just for the birds? No matter what you believe in When you know you are leavin’ There’s a whole different story to tell. I know in my heart, that you are real…that’s why I embrace your strength like un-bending steel. You are my affirmation… you… are my light at close of day…You are my reason for living...You’re why I chose to stay. You are my guide for what follows, and, whether right or wrong… you’re the only reason I have for writing this song. You inspired love within me. You’ve sown seeds of caring in my life, and now and forever… you are my armor against strife. You ARE my affirmation, my cause for moving on, until we reach that point, where all fear is gone. Then… we can go to what’s next, while we rest in the refuge, of a love filled nest… waiting… until God sends us to… our final test. And as my tears run dry, I’ll find out why…it wasn’t my time to die… When I watched you die, I found it was OK to cry, but I didn’t understand why I am still breathing, when it was you and not me who was leaving... Am I singing the right notes? Am I sharing the right words? Are you here with me… or is this all just for the birds? No matter what you believe in When you know you are leavin’ There’s a whole different story to tell. I know in my heart, that you are real…that’s why I embrace your strength like un-bending steel. You are my affirmation… you… are my light at close of day…You are my reason for living...You’re why I chose to stay. You are my guide for what follows, and, whether right or wrong… you’re the only reason I have for writing this song. You inspired love within me. You’ve sown seeds of caring in my life, and now and forever… you are my armor against strife. You ARE my affirmation, my cause for moving on, until we reach that point, where all fear is gone. Then… we can go to what’s next, while we rest in the refuge, of a love filled nest… waiting… until God sends us to… our final test. And as my tears run dry, I’ll find out why…it wasn’t my time to die…