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The weekend is coming. Augh!

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Barry, Feb 28, 2020.

  1. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    I woke up and my first thought is it's Friday. The weekend is coming at me again like an asteroid. I can keep that in the back of my mind while I'm working but eventually I have to go home for 3 days. It's horrible. I sink to my lowest depths at home on weekends. I won't say I haven't contemplated my own death but I would never inflict that pain on my children. Can't say I don't wish an asteroid would hit me tho. I'm a truck driver. I'm only allowed to work 60hrs a week so Saturdays are out. Thanks govt for "regulating" my life. Staying busy and keeping my mind occupied is a key for me now. One hour, one day at a time.
     
  2. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Barry,

    Those lonely times we shared together with our spouse were special. Each day as we and face another 24 hours, the room echoes to loss for us. Our words are no longer answered, and we are forever reminded of the one we held so tenderly, we shared heartbeats with.

    Those tender moments, just the two of us. Those walks, wherever they took us, were ours, and ours alone. Barry, even after almost 5 years now, I still am reminded of what life has taken from me.

    When I sit in an empty room, I pull out the photo albums, look at the pictures, shed tears, my hands shake, even now, what she meant to me still so strongly affect me, I know I can't bring her back, I know I can't fill that hole in my heart, nor take my sons sorrow away, but I try, oh God do I try.

    Why I live in memories so much now, as it brings back those times Nadine and I grew together. Sure we made mistakes, we got mad at each other, but after we stopped being foolish we had those moments where we held each other, looked into each other's eyes and reminded one another who we were to one another.

    Barry, songs are what I live for now. They lift my spirits, and they help me move forward on those days I am so sad.

    Songs express how I am feeling so well.



    I just know that I will never forget the one I loved and lost.

    david
     
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