The pie theory of grief and perspective

I like to think in conceptual terms, so think of this one as “pie” and “perspective.” Imagine your entire life was like a pie, with slices representing each thing you hold dear: your spouse, family, social, spirituality, work/hobbies, your health, the inner you, your role in society, etc. Each slice has a natural size, but the pie never gets bigger or smaller. So, when one slice gets bigger the others must get smaller.

For me, grief over my wife took over almost the entire pie & still does to a large extent. But what I’m beginning to realize is that by letting this happen I spend less time on the other slices, my family, social, health, hobbies, etc.

This is where “perspective” comes in. Perhaps the goal is to put the grief slice of the pie in some sort of natural relationship with the others. It won’t go away, but it needs to have a natural size and relationship to the others. I don’t ever want the memory of my wife to fade, but I have a responsibility to me – and her – to get some sort of balance and perspective back into my life. Otherwise it will be empty.

Do you agree?

 

Very nicely put.