The fear of loss

Discussion in 'Dealing With Multiple Losses' started by Krisstmas, Jan 15, 2020.

  1. Krisstmas

    Krisstmas New Member

    It started at age six when my mother died of breast cancer. The next was when my Nana, who helped raise me after my moms passing, died with me right in front of her. After that, my Grandmas sudden death of a heart attack. And then, my Poppy’s death.
    Each of these individuals shaped me into who I am today. However, their ghosts still haunt me. The loss of the most important people in my life has left me with severe abandonment issues.
    I fear every day that I’ll receive a phone call from someone telling me that my father is dead. I fear that I am awaiting the message that tells me my best friend of 20 years has committed suicide. I fear when my fiancé doesn’t call to tell me he will be late coming home that he has been in some sort of an accident.
    I want to accept the tragic fate of our fleeting lives. I want to accept that so many loved ones are gone. I want to accept that I have to move on. I want to accept my grief.