The 4th of July is coming up .... this is going to be so different

My love always did the grilling, while I cooked it up in the kitchen. We worked together so well putting our menu together & planning what fun we were going to have together with the kids & as a family. This year I don't see myself doing nothing at all - maybe laying in my bed, crying the day away & wishing I was dead. So much on my mind; so many emotions I feel. I have noone or nowhere to turn. I've tried to be strong - I really have, but I don't even know how to do that anymore.

 

Well, my Ted passed last year in July so it certainly has a different color for me now but our kids didn't celebrate with us much so anyway. But we liked patriotic colors so I got patriotic arrangements like military and put them at his grave at our farm. This farm was our celebrating place anyway. It's hard to feel right lately for me too but I come far enough now to know it's probably just another step in the whole process. Maybe it's okay to not be strong. I'm going to pray for you. I think I know how you feel.

 

Yes, I know how you feel. I would do the grilling while my wife cooked it up in the kitchen also. I have not touched our grill yet, I had made plans to grill a steak last week but just couldn’t do it yet. The pain hurts so very much I doubt I’ll do anything either. I know my sister will invite me over and probably hound me to try to make me give in. Maybe I should go it might help me some. Maybe your kids will invite you also.