Suddenly lost my father

Hello, I am new here and struggling with the effects of sudden loss. Hoping reaching out will bring solace of some sort. I lost my father suddenly on New Year’s Day. My father had been having stomach issues, and found out a week prior to Christmas he had liver cancer. Moving forward we thought he would have a chance to fight this diagnosis but he also had severe liver cirrhosis from alcohol abuse no one knew about. I feel like I lost all control of my life in those days. My dad came home on hospice, we had one night and he was gone just like that. Now I just feel stuck with the pain of his absence and the trauma of that night, blindly trying to navigate forward. Months later it’s painful as the world keeps going and this becomes old news, but my world is still in shambles and it feels like I’m constantly just grasping at air. I know the weight of this may become bearable in time, but grief certainly doesn’t make it easy.

 

Sorry for your loss, I understand completely how you feel. I loss my mother to a heart attack on February 18,2016. A day before my fathers birthday. My father was never the same after , they were married since 1958. Then in 2019, my husband wasn’t feeling well so I took him to hospital, seven months later, I lost him to bile duct cancer. He was only 59. I thank god that I had 22 beautiful years with him. Then here comes the year 2020 and my father and I was on a trip and he told me that his side was hurting, just a little so I took him to the er and 20 days later, I lost him to pancreas cancer. What a f— nightmare I have been in. I can only thank god I have two children and three grandchildren that are saving my life right now. I don’t know what I would do without them. I have some good days and of course bad days too. But I just take one day at a time and don’t put any pressure on myself or you will go insane. Try to breathe and find some to talk to. It’s hard and you will cry a lot. But it helps relieve some stress. I won’t tell you that you will get over it cuz I haven’t yet. But I just keep trying every day. You have to for your love ones and yourself. ❤️

 

I'm so sorry for your loss. You are right Grief doesn't make life easy. It makes you feel.like you suffocating or stuck in quick sand. Some days will be better than others. Pray for strength to get through each day. Time will make u stronger to deal with everything.

 

I’m sorry for your loss my sincere condolences. It’s never easy losing a parent to a illness. I loss my dad to cancer two years ago. Still I can’t accept it. I’m having a hard time dealing with it. It all started with his memory and having headaches and forgetting things. Many years ago he was diagnosed with cancer in his throat did treatment it was scary seeing him afterwards the chemo took a toll on his body. He had radiation as well. Afterwards the doctor did biopsy said the cancer was gone but needed to quit smoking and eating healthy. If he didn’t change his habits it could come back. Years passed he was living life he did everything he could and was thriving to do as much as he can with life and family. A few months before his passing the doctor had told him the cancer can back but he didn’t say nothing to us his children he kept under wraps for awhile. Then suddenly was forgetting things and was getting dizzy and then he couldn’t drive anymore. Took him to the doctor they said it was a tumor in his brain the cancer was spreading to all major organs. That he had a few months to a year of life. My dad was determined to live life not hooked up to chemo or radiation again. Wanted to live his last days at home. I cried for days and I couldn’t accept it. He was more calm then I was all I could think of my dad is dying there’s nothing I can do to stop it. The last days were terrible and I couldn’t bare to see him not eating or forgetting who I was. I was seeing my father detoriate slowly the man who showed me everything the man who loved me and taught me everything and guided me was slipping away. What hurts the most I wasn’t there the day he died. I couldn’t tell him I love him and how much he meant to me.