Hi my hubby passed 3 months ago. In our bedroom all his clothes etc are in the ensuite which I have to walk through to get to the bathroom. They used to give me comfort but now they are upsetting as I come to terms with him not coming back. Any advice would be appreciated. Was thinking of packing them up and putting them in containers in the garage for now. I'm so lost and muddled would love some help please.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband, I lost my husband too, my loss is 2 yrs ago, it was very sudden, zero warning and a heart attack took him in 2 hours. I also found comfort in his clothes being where he left them, his shoes where he took them off. I’ve found that this is kind of a personal thing, we each react differently. If they’re starting to feel upsetting to you, try to move them and see how you feel emotionally. Let your emotions tell you what is right for you. Maybe pick them up from the floor as the first step, if you’re feeling relief then fold them. Do it in baby steps is my thought, you can always do the next step later or tomorrow, or continue. I know people who have moved their loved ones clothing and it gave them relief, I haven’t felt that way. My husband had left a shirt and belt hanging on a knob on his dresser. I didn’t touch it, I couldn’t, then one day I was looking for something and it fell to the floor, it made me cry I put it back, of coarse I smelled his shirt first, and although sad hugging and smelling his shirt felt good. Then a couple weeks later during the night I heard a sound, I look over and his shirt and belt were on the floor. Was it a sign, I thought so and it was time. It’s kind of an individual thing, the clothes in the en-suite are not being comforting right now but you might feel worse moving them totally out of sight or you might feel I’m glad I cleaned them up. When I first tried to move Ron’s clothes it felt wrong so I stopped, when I did eventually move things it was emotional but also felt like I need to do this, it’s time. I know the feelings you’re going through, I know it’s all very hard, the loneliness is unbearable. You’re not alone in how you feel, everyone here understands the pain, where most of our family and friends just don’t get it. I don’t know if I’ve said anything helpful but I hope so. Remember to take care of you. Get fresh air each day even if only in your back yard. One day at a time, don’t push yourself. Sending you hugs! ❤️
I grieve with you. You are still raw, and the void will never go away. You have to accept the loss and try to move forward, day by day. Keep reaching out to the people on this site. Find an outlet for your mind and try to keep busy. It will be two years (in October since I lost Janet, the love of my life, and there are days that still destroy me. Trust in God. Bill
I am truly sorry for the loss of your hubby. Our spouses personal belongings whatever it might be it will be a choice we all have to make ,for myself don't rush for I still have my wife's two hoodies hanging on the bed post and one on the chair in the living room and it was one year ago on Feb 2 that I lost my wife to cancer at age 59.I do know being on this site makes me know that I am not crazy for there are so many similarities we all share.I know none of us want to be here for this is hard stuff like I have said Grief is the price we pay for love. This is a battle and a long battle and it will be different for all of us . How long will this take I don't know maybe because there is no real answer ,our hearts have been wounded , all I know is hold on don't let go there is light in this darkness and besides what choice do we have ,our spouses would want us to be warriors and fight.Be good to yourself and be strong and very courageous some way some how we will get through this.So thankful to all of you.
