So lost

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by PeggySue, Oct 31, 2019.

  1. PeggySue

    PeggySue Member

    I simply dont really care. If i didnt wake in the morning id be ok with that. So alone missing my love. 3 months tomorrow. Have less answers about what to do now today than i did 3 months ago. I feel so stuck. Cant help anyone else because i simply cant help myself right now.
     
    patricia k likes this.
  2. Tnance60

    Tnance60 New Member

    It is very hard to be the one left behind and hard to get up in the morning but your love one wouldn't want you to be feeling this way they would want you to go on without them and honor them by making a difference in this world and helping others and if you can't get out of this mood you are in you need to get counseling for your loss.
     
    patricia k likes this.
  3. PeggySue

    PeggySue Member

    Im trying. Just have my moments like last night. Thanks for words of encouragement.
     
  4. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    I understand how hard it is to move forward. I sometimes feel that I need to force myself to go outside and do something even if it just taking a walk. Usually, when I come back home my mood is lifted and I am able to go on. I try to keep myself busy but, of course, there are many times that this is impossible to do. Try to take one day at a time and not make any major decisions now. I wish you the best.
     
    patricia k likes this.
  5. bac

    bac New Member

    I get it...I felt the same way in the very beginning and still do occasionally now after almost 1 1/2 years. Would be so much easier than the pain of knowing what we have lost. Just do what you can to help yourself. This is the time to be selfish and do what's best for you. I am sorry we have to be going through this.
     
  6. Al3xpowell

    Al3xpowell New Member

    I lost my husband 50 days ago. It’s sad that I keep count I miss him. He just turned 30 years old September 9 and passed away suddenly sept 12 my heart is broken. I’m 27 years old with two small children. I know that feeling of being paralyzed with heartache I go thru it everyday. One day at a time.
     
  7. Whatsnext

    Whatsnext Member

    Moments, that's the real thing, moments when the grief overcomes us, moments when we remember the joy shared together, moments when you believe everything will be alright, back to moments of loneliness. Damn rollercoaster this grief is. Peggy I have hope that it will get easier to deal with, I know it hasn't been long for you or me for that matter. I know for me the grief will slap me in the back of the head, just when I think I am moving forward. No warning at all. That's when I tell myself to wait for the next good moment, because it will come.
     
    LindaH likes this.
  8. PeggySue

    PeggySue Member

    I hate the moments, my heart seems like it is breaking a new each time. I hate being alone. I hate coming home alone, i hate all this and just want him back. I have always had such great faith in our God. But cant really take comfort in that now, oh how i wish i could.
     
  9. Whatsnext

    Whatsnext Member

    Me too, I have never had any anxiety before, but I am finding a bit of apprehension on my drive home, cause I know I will be alone, and all the reminders of her are there, I do relish the reminders of her, whom I miss dearly. No hug when I get in the door, no kiss, no one to tell how my day went or to hear how her day went. I miss that and the little things. The heaviness in my heart has just not left. I wish I could say it will get better, but I don't even know that. I have hope, but it is really tough, family and friends keep asking to help but what can they do for me? I don't know the answer cause they can't bring her back.
     
  10. PeggySue

    PeggySue Member

    I just keep finding myself thinking im gonna wake up and my life will be restored. Isnt that crazy. We had plans, this wasnt suppose to go this way. I need my husband back. Who am i without him. I have so many task i need to do but never get to them because i cant figure out why i should.
     
  11. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    No, it certainly isn't crazy that you feel one day you will wake up and your life will be restored. We all wish for that but we have to learn how to deal with the grief as best we can. It might be a good idea to do the tasks the you need to because it will keep you busy and feel that you have accomplished something. Do as much as you can each day - there is no time frame. Wishing you the best.
     
  12. Nija

    Nija Member

    Hello Peggy Sue,
    I understand how you feel it is very difficult. You have had the loss of your soulmate, your best friend, I felt the same way in the beginning, I would wake up and just think and think not wanting to face the day, I felt stuck, I just could not bring myself to believe that my husband was actually gone. It was very difficult it is still not easy but I just try to go one day at a time. In time I hope you feel a little better and I wish you the best. I am truly sorry for your loss.
     
  13. PeggySue

    PeggySue Member

    Thank you Niia. Im really trying. Im glad you are doing ok. Its been a rough day. Did actually get a few things done today though. Which is a good thing.
     
  14. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    Sorry yesterday was such a rough day for you. At least you were able to get a few things done today which helps. Definitely not looking forward to the upcoming holiday season.
     
  15. PeggySue

    PeggySue Member

    Couldnt even get dressed today, no ambition to get yhere. I wanted to go to church, but stughling with my gaith at yhe moment. Couldnt dind a reason to do it. Definitely not either with the holidays. Can we just forget them. I have made plans, i rented a house on the lake with my daughter and her crew for the thanksgiving. Told them i couldnt be at home. Christmas IDK cant even think that one yet.
     
  16. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    Some days are harder than others dealing with the grief. The holidays will be very hard but be thankful that you have your daughter and her crew for Thanksgiving and you won't be alone. I would love to be able to forget the upcoming holidays since I do not have any family or close friends nearby to spend it with. We just have to take one day at a time and do things when we feel stronger and better able to cope. Wishing you well.
     
  17. PeggySue

    PeggySue Member

    Im sorry you have no one close. Im sure that is very difficult. It sucks actually. Maybe yiu can find a place to volunteer that day.
     
  18. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    I don't think I would be much good to anyone right now volunteering because of my attitude. I wouldn't want to depress anyone. Besides, recently my car was rear-ended and declared a total loss so right now I do not have a car and it would be difficult to get to somewhere to volunteer but that is something to think about in the future. Like you, I wish we could forget the holidays! Take care.