It’s been 6 weeks since someone was a mom to me suddenly passed away. The autopsy came back inconclusive. I feel so lost. So empty in ways. I just wish I could call her and hear her voice one more time. I wish I could feel her never ending hug just one more time.. she was my only real role model. The light of my life. I feel so lost now that she’s gone.. so much about the woman I am today is because of her. I just fear she felt scared.. or alone when it happened.. I feel so disconnected from reality.. how can I accept that someone who would hold me so closely and not let me go is nothing but dust now.? Idk. It’s just been hard. I haven’t been doing well and I’m just so tired of not doing well. I just wanna breathe again.