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Scared

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Justtrying, Sep 28, 2020.

  1. Justtrying

    Justtrying New Member

    It’s been 6 weeks since someone was a mom to me suddenly passed away. The autopsy came back inconclusive. I feel so lost. So empty in ways. I just wish I could call her and hear her voice one more time. I wish I could feel her never ending hug just one more time.. she was my only real role model. The light of my life. I feel so lost now that she’s gone.. so much about the woman I am today is because of her. I just fear she felt scared.. or alone when it happened.. I feel so disconnected from reality.. how can I accept that someone who would hold me so closely and not let me go is nothing but dust now.? Idk. It’s just been hard. I haven’t been doing well and I’m just so tired of not doing well. I just wanna breathe again.
     
  2. SallyD

    SallyD Member

    Hi, Justtrying. I'm really sorry you're going through all this. I'm glad you had her around for as long as you did, although I know you want her around, right now.

    I feel the same way about my big brother, who I lost on March 31, 2020. I also feel lost without him....not only because I miss his encouragement and kindness, but because I have health problems and he helped me with a lot of things because of this. I tried to help him with things, too, but it ended up being a mess because he needed a liver transplant and we couldn't get one in time. It was delayed about six weeks because we had to get him qualified financially to go through it (get him benefits from Soc. Security real fast, which is hard to do), but we did it....and it was hard, because I'm not that well to do it....but it still wasn't good enough and we lost him. It's hard to accept that our people are really gone. I'm glad you came on this site. There's a lot of people who care....the chat room part is good, too, because it's 24/7 and a lot of times there are folks who've been through a lot on there, and can chat with you, live. Sometimes that can really help. It does cost ten dollars for the whole year to use the chat feature, but I think it's worth it--it's not that much, really. Just keep trying, and keep reaching out to others on
    sites like this one, who've been through similar things. Maybe a grief counselor or support group (even online.) I'm trying things like that, too.

    I just wanted you to know that I read your post, and that people like me do care.
     
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