Regret ia eating me alive

I kniw we all have regrets..
But I need. To ask if anybody else is having troubkw on putting that heavy. Burden down..
It's only been a month since my windy passed away..i miss her so bad..
She was sick for quite a long time but over a month in the hospital this last time ahe juat kept getting worse..
Anyways...
Ive been haunted since her passing about all the things I never said. Or did in the 32++ years we was together..
Im always going iver everything from the past thunga I cannot change ..and u know that but I just can't stop .
Is ahe ok ...
Was ahe really happy in this life...
Coukd i have done something different to make her happier or give her a beyter life.
Questiins I'll never get an answer to..well nidt in thia world.
I can and will ask jee when i see her again because i know she is waiting for me and we will be togeyher again..
But thats my question to everyone..
Hiw do you deal with your regrets??
Thanks for being there to listen ..
Gid bless

 

We all are faced with woulda coulda shouldas at the end. Its normal. It's part of grief because we wonder if its something we could of done to help them be here with us now. Due to covid I couldn't be by my fiancee's side. I still feel that I let him down in the end but I no that he knows I'd been there if I could have. I hold on to our conversation on the phone before things turned bad. We joked around and said we love each other. Look back on your life and thing of the happy times it'll let you no you did everything right. Hold to the fact that you loved her and she loved you. I pray you get stronger cause I no each day is a challenge.

 

Thank you for sharing your experience with me..
Because I too hold onto one the last times windy and me apoke before her voice got so bad she couldnt talk hardly..
I'll keep remebering is the talk about how she was affraid..and I'll never forget this ..
That she didnt want to die..
I just held her hands and kept saying you aint going nowheres we are going to fight this together..
I'm affraid and I do t wanna die...
Over and over is all i can hear..
It haunts me.. That and the fact that like you. I could not be there at the end to hold her at least her hand....
And let her know one last time just how much i love her...
I can't imagine just how alone she must have felt..
Really tears me up thunking about it..
But thank you. For sharing it does help a little to know I am not alone with what im feeling..
God bless you..
And I am so so sorry for your loss as well..
It truly ia a terrible thing to lose someone we love so so much..

 

You are welcome. This is a good site. I hate we had to connect like this but it's good to talk to people that understand where you're coming from. I'm hear anytime you need to talk.

 

This sounds very familiar. My husband and I loved each other very deeply. We put each other first and devoted all of our non-work time to each other and family. We were simple and just enjoyed each other’s company. We did not take each other for granted. But....we were not perfect. We had a normal human relationship. We went through hard times, other losses, bad moods, got on each other’s nerves. Sometimes said things that we regretted. Oh how I wish I could take things back!
My husband told me he was not ready to leave me, that he did not want to die. He wanted to fight. My brave man so vulnerable. My heart broke and I responded the same way you did, almost word for word. I was desperate for him to recover and live more life with me. I was able to stay with him even through COVID so he wasn’t alone. Before he passed, I asked the hospital chaplain if I could confess my sins. She asked for them and my reply was, ‘I wasn’t always nice to him, I let him down sometimes.’ Her reply was,’ he has long since forgiven you, it is you that needs to forgive yourself ‘. Those ‘sins’ are such a small part of the whole story.
Your love for your wife is in every word you write. That’s the real story.
I find this self-forgiveness easier said than done. I will always focus more on my flaws than all of the good that I have done. I’m working on it. I have to focus on how deeply I loved him, and hold firm that there was NOTHING I would not have done for him, nothing I wouldn’t have done to save his life. No self-doubt there.
Believe in how much you loved her and everything you did to help her. You know that. She knows that. She knows you didn’t want her to go. She knows you are human and she didn’t expect you to be perfect.

 

Thank you for that..
I am sorry you lost your husband but loke me you sound like you are grateful for the time you two had together..
I'm glad you was able to be with him at that moment.
I only wish I could have been with windy..
I can't help but feel like she and myself was robbed of that last moment together in this world..
One that can never be again...