Parents both healthy to gone in 3 months

My parents spent 130+ nights in their camper hiking and traveling all over the country in the past year. They were a very young 68 and 71. September 2 my mom went in thinking a small issue she takes a medication for was acting up, and was diagnosed with last stage cancer. She died on November 11. This illness was horrible to watch, and she literally threw up almost all of the blood in her body in her last 36 hours of life. My dad, her husband of 49 years, worked tirelessly taking care of her, and I also took care of her. The week of the funeral, dad got covid. A week later, he was in the hospital. (I watched paramedics take mom out of the living room going to hospice 2 weeks exactly before watching dad go out with paramedics.). Numbers were higher than ever. He died 40 days after mom, 5 days before Christmas. Much of that time he was alone and by the time we could see him he was on a vent and very sick.

My only sister died 12 years ago.

My only brother lives 14 hours away.

I’m overwhelmed taking care of the estate, cleaning out the house and dealing with everyone looking at me to hold everything together. I’m constantly upset with my husband because he doesn’t pick up the slack of things I can’t do even when asked. Nobody gets the emotions I’m experiencing. I can’t grieve openly because it upsets my kids and the rest of my family. I feel like my head is going to explode! I needed somewhere to vent and be heard—my parents were those people for me and now they are both gone. Orphaned at 43.