Now What

Discussion in 'Finding it Difficult to Move Foward' started by Abbydabby, Oct 20, 2019.

  1. Abbydabby

    Abbydabby New Member

    Lost my husband almost 2 years ago. Everyone seems to have disappeared. Moved home to sister and best time for me. Don't fit it with anyone's life. Alone with my little dog 24 hours a day. Don't know how much longer i can go on like this.
  2. Anne M

    Anne M New Member

    Hi Abbydabby. I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband suddenly a year and a half ago. He was 58 and we were married almost 36 years. Like you, I don't feel like I fit in anywhere anymore. I am suddenly different. I come home from work to my dog that I am so thankful for. I wish I had some great words of wisdom or some miracle answer for you but I don't. I keep hearing that the best thing to do is to keep busy which is difficult when you have no desire to do anything. I push myself to go out with some friends even though I just want to be alone. Their conversations seem so inconsequential but it passes some time, it gets me out of the house. I guess that is my great advice. Try and join a club or meet people at the dog park. My daughter tells me that I have to force myself to do things the first couple of times and it will get easier. I guess it has a little. When my husband passed away, my cousin's words were the only ones that seemed to be accurate. She said, "There are no words, just prayers." I pray that God gives you the strength to get through each day, that He eases your pain and that the memories of your husband bring you comfort and strength to carry on.
    Cora1961 likes this.
  3. Sheila512

    Sheila512 Well-Known Member

    Your cousin is right on! I keep my husband's picture on my screen saver and I fill him in on my day every evening. It eases my pain and it take me to happy places. Nights are terrible for me and I am grateful that my little dog sleeps with me. I like the feeling of movement during the night when he wiggles around. Let those memories bring you up, not down. I can guess what my husband would say to me wen I present a situation. He continues to be part of me. He didn't used to be in may life, he continues to be in my life and that has saved my life. May peace come to you readily.
  4. Jazzy112718

    Jazzy112718 Member

    It's all so true.......It seems like people expect us to "get over it, move along, meet people...." But I just don't want to. I don't want to be around people who love me - much less meeting new people. I don't want to have to "share my pain with others" AND I don't want people telling me to believe god has a reason for taking him....What possible reason could there be for taking a kind person? So me & my dog just hang out. She's a good little friend who doesn't mind all my tears. Good luck to us all
    Cora1961 and cg123 like this.
  5. Cora1961

    Cora1961 Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. I too have lost the love if my life 4 months ago. We had so much love and life around us and it’s weird that it is all gone. But I am thankful for my kids, grandchildren and my kitties that my husband loved so much. He spoiled them all and now they are comfort for me. I too am just taking it one day at a time. Some good and some bad but I know he wouldn’t want me to give up, so I don’t for him. I don’t know if you ever get over it as dumb people say. But I can’t let them affect me so I just go on and chose who I want to be around right now. You need to surround yourself with good people and that just might be a new or different person because the old ones just don’t get it right now. The people you think would be there for u and understand just aren’t. But someone u never thought of will. At least that how it has been for me. Friends from different city or states contact me to see how I am more then someone I live next door to (my own sister and brother in law) it’s weird but have to accept it. It nice to talk to someone that is going Thur this process to.
    cg123 likes this.