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Not sure how to move forward

Discussion in 'Finding it Difficult to Move Foward' started by Angelfish, Dec 29, 2020.

  1. Angelfish

    Angelfish New Member

    Hi -
    I lost my mom 4/14/2019 and my dad 3/21/2011. I’m an only child of two only children. My relationship with my fiancé ended after 25 years and I lost my best friend to an unexpected death in August of 2019. I have no family left on this planet and no close friends. I’ve lost a few friends due to their inability to understand or tolerate my grief. I feel so alone in this world and I’m only in my mid 40’s. Logic tells me I could still have a life ahead of me but part of me feels like I’m just waiting to die. I don’t know what to do.
     
    Brigit likes this.
  2. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your losses. Grief is really something else. It takes time to even get to a place where u can see a little piece of the rainbow at the end of the tunnel. Pray for strength each day and take it slow..I'm here anytime u need someone to talk too. Praying for your strength.
     
  3. Shreddie

    Shreddie Member

    You are in an extremely challenging situation in life - I’m so sorry to learn about your circumstances. You’ve been through do much! For me (I share your ‘waiting to die’ outlook, sadly), it’s one moment, then one 10 minute block, then one minute, then one day at a time. It’s brutal but it serves in staving off the huge all encompassing dark cloud, even if just a tiny bit. I overwhelmed my friends and family with my grief and after a while, no surprise, they weren’t too excited about seeing me. I began to white knuckle social interactions - meaning feeling like death and not addressing that, instead I talked about what normal people talk about - and people warmed up. They said I was doing better. I’m not, but at least people are more open to seeing me which helps a fair bit. In both scenarios I feel awful. It’s just that the second approach provides some opportunities for interactions. I don’t know if any of this helps - I just totally resonate with your post and wanted to interact and possibly help you even with not a lot of tools at the moment. Stay safe. You are young, and there’s plenty of life to live for you!
     
  4. Aries

    Aries New Member

    I lost my fiance 10-20-2019 He had small cell lung cancer i watched him wither away get weaker and had to depend on me he accepted the fact he was dying, he welcomed it. He was in a lot of pain and felt helpless I fixed all his problems but I could not fix this he passed away in our home in our bed I wasn't ready for him to go and I am lost without him I can't sleep grief counseling is not helping me I am in so much pain I am lost with out him he is everything to me I don't know to go on with out him he was my life
     
  5. Joanne B

    Joanne B Member

    Honestly can’t imagine how strong you must be. Definitely far stronger than most I know in my life including me. I am here if you would EVER need to chat. Prayers are being sent your way
     
  6. tkim77

    tkim77 New Member

    I am so sorry about your loss. I am trying to understand and process my grief. I know it is difficult but I am finding some peace being able to talk about my loss and how much I loved him. If you ever want some to talk to I would love to talk with you. I think I might be able to understand and empathize as I lost the man I loved the day after I accepted his marriage proposal. Even though we knew we wouldn't have a lot of time because he had pancreatic cancer his death came unexpectedly.
     
  7. Sheila512

    Sheila512 Well-Known Member

    I dated my love in high school and we went on to marry others. After our divorces, we got back together and it was like a dream. Imagine, people telling me that i didn't know what love was a t age 14! Wrong, I knew exactly but adults interfered and broke us up. Out reconnection was like a fairy tale. So many amazing years together and still it was not enough When you find your soul, it is forever. The picture to the left is high school senior prom. I am 14 and he is 16. I just wish everyone in the world could experience the kind of love I felt for this man. Be strong and don't give up. you have him in your heart