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Nobody wants to hear this but...

Discussion in 'Finding it Difficult to Move Foward' started by Saintgrl74, Mar 20, 2019.

  1. Jazzy112718

    Jazzy112718 Active Member

    OMG......you are NOT complaining. You are voicing pain that is deep inside. You have no answers - only questions. I cannot imagine your pain. I thought my 1 year anniversary (TODAY) of P's death was horrible but not to know why, what, or how - must be overwhelming. My grandkids annoy me like you are saying but TRY (no judgment) to see his pain too. Some days if I didn't have my dog - I wouldn't get out of bed. I don't believe in prayer but will try to send positive thoughts your way.
  2. Jazzy112718

    Jazzy112718 Active Member

    It's 14 months since Peter died & I feel worse than ever. It REAL.......he's dead & he's not coming back. I'm alone & that's that. I've actually stopped posting on Facebook b/c people respond to my grieving out loud with a "like, sad face or thinking of you"....otherwise I don't hear from them. It's as if they've forgotten the hideous pain/grief. Yes, they miss him but after 35 years of his face, his voice, his hands, his love, his laughter........I'm wandering in the desert of grief. I see very little relief from it.
  3. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    I understand how you are feeling. As time goes by the reality of it does "sink in" and you realize that you are alone. I wish there was an easy answer on how to deal with such grief but there isn't. It is so hard to stay strong and go on but somehow we do. Wishing you well.
  4. LindaS

    LindaS New Member

    New I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my sister suddenly 3 months ago. I have two other sisters but they don't want to talk about it. I want to scream "somebody please listen to my pain" but I guess they want to grieve in silence. I feel so loss & heartbroken. I'm still grieving the loss of my father two years ago & now my sister. I pray for peace and comfort for us all. This is definitely life changing and one day at a time (sometimes, one minute at a time.) Praying for all.
  5. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    You should never feel ashamed to talk of loss, no matter how much time has gone by.

    LindaS, I am so sorry for your loss of your sister and your father. That is a lot of pain to hold. Please don't ever feel like you can't or shouldn't talk about it. Talking about loss is how we each help lesson the pain we have so much of, and by telling others it helps us heal inside slowly.

    Loss is hard to accept and each of us will take time to recover. By talking about your loved ones (sharing) you also help others see they are not alone.

    During my marriage to Nadine, my Icon is her picture, she lost both of her brothers and an older sister, we shared in so many more losses with each other it helped both of us face each new day. Nadine last sister , also a Linda, the oldest of them was with us for the last days of her life.

    Before she passed she was able to visit Hawaii with her sister and girlfriends (an all girl event) and they took so many pictures. At that point she knew she had cancer and so it was a special time for them all to share together. My sons and I stayed home.

    During the time Linda spent with us, both her and Nadine were also visited by her niece and travelling nurse across the US. It was amazing all the great laughter they had together. I knew both Linda and her niece Lisa realized this would be an amazing time for them all. They sat on the couch, and watched so many movies together. They cried together and had many hugs and kisses.

    When they left they guided Nadine from Florida back to her home state of Maine on the airplane. My two sons and I closed the house and hit the road back to Maine to be with Nadine in the Auburn, Maine hospice house. That time we all had together is etched permanently in our mind. We will miss sweet Nadine and all the whoopie pies she would make.

    Sure, writing about loss is tough, I shed tears as I write, but I know you must as well. Just know that you are not alone in your loss. We are all sharing a time in our life that is so very personal that you can't help but be emotional.

    Please take care of yourself. Never give up on life and above all else, we all understand your pain.


    This song is for us all:

    RLC, cg123, Billfromwa and 1 other person like this.
  6. Bogman

    Bogman Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the song David, had to watch the video twice I couldn't see through the tears the first time :)
    cg123 likes this.
  7. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Thank you as well. I have come to find that even though I am emotionally hurting for missing my wife, music brings me peace of mind. I know my wife loved country music, in fact I have the cd's she had in her car and also listen to them at times.

    I have searched for music that hits a feeling we might all be experiencing on days when we are sad, or feeling like we are stuck and can't get past our grief. So when I post from now long, if I can find a piece of music that fits the post I will share it with you. It has been said that music soothes the savage beast and a broken heart.

    I hope you will find some comfort in the posts we all make on the forum. I hope it will help you face another day or be able I also find that as I post my ears are always wet from tears, my nose is runny at times and so I just grab a tissue. That is where I am today.

    Please take care of yourself.

    cg123 and Bogman like this.
  8. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Ooops, above post I said ...my ears are always wet from tears... That is what I get for not having my glasses on, as I meant eyes.