No one wants to hear.

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Ray G., Jun 11, 2019.

  1. Ray G.

    Ray G. Well-Known Member

    And to me it is very sad.
    What gets me is that my
    family is quite steeped in
    Catholicism yet I can not
    talk about my sadness, and
    not have Satan in on it.

    Maybe I am just flat out
    tired of having to be so
    strong all the time. I do
    not think being strong
    comes cheap tho, that
    maybe a part of me is
    messed up snd ya know,
    I am getting to a point I
    fear getting to and I need
    to talk to someone quite
  2. AdriaStar

    AdriaStar Active Member

    Hi Ray,
    Your post concerns me a bit. There are places to call and people who will help you get through this if you need it. This may not apply to you but call this number and they can direct you to some good resources.
    You need someone who can listen to you.
    National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
    We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.

    griefic likes this.
  3. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Ray, I'm so sorry that you are struggling. Finding good support can be so hard, and unfortunately it's often our family that doesn't seem to understand in the way we would hope they could. I'm glad you are reaching out, there is good support to be found here through those who understand.
    However, if you are in crisis, know that there is urgent crisis help like the information AdriaStar posted above. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline also has text and chat options - they are available 24/7:
    Grief and the loss of great love takes so much time to process- we never get over it, but we do the best we can to move forward in ways that help carry the love with us. I know it's not easy, and that's why our community is here to help.
    Let us know if you need more, and if you are truly in crisis, please remember there is help.
  4. Ray G.

    Ray G. Well-Known Member

    Thankyou very much.
    I do appreciate your
    help. I am not suisidal
    TG just feel I got my
    Emotions knocked out
    by a prize fighter and
    that is or has shocked
    my whole system of
    what is what or can not
    seem to believe this
    And on the 16th of June
    Sofia will be with Jesus
    3 months.

    I am so trying to get thru
    this. No one in my family
    seems to have any idea of
    what this is like.

    It is what it is. I just walk
    my dog a lot and talk to
    Jesus. I do know he is al-
    ways listening.
    griefic likes this.
  5. paul tinker

    paul tinker Well-Known Member

    Ray that is so often cited. Those around us have a hard time with an others pain. They really don't know what to say and will be fearful of saying the wrong thing. That is in part of why I am here. I have gone on some manic raves with people but I am lucky to have some savvy and tolerant friends. My sister is so good. We talk once a week and twelve hours sessions have happened. At first, I had to talk about her. Then I really wanted any other conversation. I could not keep going over it. Kay has a friend in Tucson. I told her my grief symptoms and she a linguistic phycologist said to note the slightest progress. Just to see your self make some headway. This is hard. Ray, you have made some good posts. We have talked before and I still have to try your music selections. Be well man.

    Paul M.
    griefic likes this.
  6. Ray G.

    Ray G. Well-Known Member

    Thank you Paul.

    I figured how to get a pic
    of my 'Dainty Dearness'
    It is so hard to look at Sofia
    and know she is gone.

    I met her on July 12th 2016,
    I can imagine how I will
    feel this year, knowing we
    met became gr8 friends,
    married and a year and 76
    days later, gone. Damn that
    is so sad. The dreams we
    had. . . I really feel like 'A man
    of constant sorrow.'
  7. AdriaStar

    AdriaStar Active Member

    Good morning Ray,
    Know that we are here for you. This is a tough process for sure. Anniversaries are tough.
    Take care of yourself....
  8. Ray G.

    Ray G. Well-Known Member

    Hello again Paul,

    Yes some may be worried
    about saying the wrong
    thing, but the thing is is
    they are trying to open up
    and help and I like others
    should keep that in mind.
    I can understand that it is
    not an easy subject to start.
    Been there, done that.

    I started it out by saying,
    "I know you are very sad
    and quiet about the loss of
    . . ., want to talk about it?".

    So if a friend starts out like
    that, one has to know they
    have good intentions.
    LindaH and AdriaStar like this.