Hello all, I'm new to the site and am really looking for others with the same hurt as me. I lost my dad February 25th, 2019 or at least that's the date he was found. I hadn't talked to him in a few weeks (he lived in AZ and I live in IN). He was an alcoholic and drug addict and I was mad he had denied help so I was trying to give him some tough love. When I was little he was an amazing dad but I always knew he liked his beer . He was a functioning alcoholic and had a great job until his beer/vodka got the best of him and he went to work drunk and lost his job. He then went on a downward spiral. He tried a few times to kill himself and I begged the social workers to commit him to a treatment center. They all told me they couldn't. I tried to get legal rights to have him committed and was told that he was lucid and I couldn't. He had texted me and asked me to call him about 2 weeks before and like I said I was trying to give him some hard love and told him i couldn't. I got the call on February 25th that he had died but was told he had been there for 3 to 5 days. He had some health issues caused by the alcohol and drug abuse and was found with several pills and empty bottles surrounding him. It ended up being ruled a heart attack because of his health issues. I was absolutely broken and mad at myself for not making that call but I just couldn'tfor myself or my kids. I am an only child and he had recently gone through a divorce so I had to do all of this alone, my grandma is here but was in denial of his problems. I had to fly to AZ and clean out his house and load a uhaul with the items I could fit. I had to donate the rest. Over a year later I am still hurting so bad and I'm so mad at him and I beat myself up for that. Anyone else have a similar loss and how are you working through this?