I know the title says boyfriend but we had been broken up for a couple months. On November 24th 2019 I woke up at my best friends house to the worse news of my life. My 17 year old ex had hung himself. It felt as if my world had flipped upside down. Even though we were not together he was someone that I had loved for over a year. I knew that he was suicidal and had, had him committed to mental health about 6 months before hand. Everyday I feel so guilty for not being with him. I was still in live with him and wanted to get back together. Knowing that I will never hold his hand again kills me. I don't know how to continue my life when the person I had planned starting it with died before it even started. I feel so alone because he was my person. I don't know how to talk about it with people around me.
Rianna, Sometimes life can seem so unpredictable. Missing the one who we are missing affects us so profoundly. I just hope you will never blame yourself, as that is wrong. I know it must be amazingly hard to face. Your feelings for what you have lost is proof deep down you were connected to him in life. Please don’t ever be afraid to cry or let your emotions go. Nor never feel like you should do anything in particular. When you are able, if you can talk about him. Share what brought him to you in life. What you may have loved about him. I know my wife died, it was a piece of my heart that was taken from me. I just wish I could make all the hurt in the world go away, and heal all those who have loved and lost. Please just never give up or into despair. I hope you can talk more when you are ok, and please just remember, no words are ever wrong, as they come from your heart. Peace be with you tonight Rianna. -david This song is for you. Though the song name may be odd, it is about love found, love lost, and the connection they no longer have. It reminds me of what I once had. I have used the lyrics version so you could see the words.
