Let me see how do I deal somebody please give me the answer tell me how to deal with feeling like I'm never going to be whole again
The feeling. Yes, that one, the one where you wonder if this is how a deeply-rooted plant feels when it has been torn out by those same roots and tossed aside, left to wither in the sunlight. The feeling where you lie awake with the sensation that your heart was ripped out, and you feel around where it's supposed to be and wonder why there isn't a gaping hole there in your chest, because it sure feels like there ought to be one. The feeling where your knees hit the floor and you face-plant, just as you would when a giant ocean wave smashes down on you and you're left gasping for breath, trying to keep your head above water. I personally don't have an answer for how to deal with it, because everyone is an individual and handles it in their own way. You take it a moment at a time. You breathe through it. Breathing is going to feel exactly as if you are inhaling water, and in a way, you are... you're breathing tears, saliva, snot and every other wetness that the grief contains. Grief is enormous. It's often overbearing. I have been there, I get it, and all I can say is, the waves will pass, and more will come. They always do. But... the intensity does lessen, bit by painful bit. It's a long journey to that point, and even then, there's an essential tenderness in your core that remains. I wish you a tiny measure of peace in the days going forward.
I wish there was a magic potion or pill or a blueprint on how to get through this hell, but, unfortunately there is none. That’s why we come here. We need to share our grief with others who truly understand. Believe it or not, just doing that helps. Try to find something you enjoyed to try and keep your mind occupied. I find solace in music. In my case, it’s been a little over 7 months since my Janet died of cancer. I’m still suffering every day. The pain will never go away, but you slowly begin to cope with it. Keep yourself busy and take care of yourself. And, keep posting here. Talking about it to someone who understands is a big help. God bless you. Bill ,
All I know this is the worse of the worse .My aunt lost her husband 3 years ago June 1st he was like a dad to my wife and me and I remember telling my aunt I never want to know the pain and suffering you are going through,little did I know my wife would get cancer and pass away on February 2,at age 59,now I know.Your world is upside down , all the emotions never knew I could cry so much,anger I put a punching bag in the basement,I put her picture on her pillow,the "why"question I scream out,what I hear from others it's a long and painful journey and I just put one foot in front of the other and try to make it through another day ,and my faith though a size of a mustard seed ,I hang on to it my wife would want me to.No easy answers and I am sorry to say that and so sorry for your loss it just plains sucks,be strong and very courageous , I had the word "warrior " in big letters on our kitchen wall for my wife as she fought the beast now it's for me and maybe you ,be kind to yourself .
I'm sorry for your loss. Noone knows exactly how to tell you to heal. It hurts losing someone close to you. You feel like your life is over. It's not but a big part of it is gone. They say time heals wounds. I think it jus makes it easier to deal with. Pray for strength and take it one day at a time. I pray you find some type of peace.
There is no answer, Oh yes, its so brutal, we will never be the same EVER! Whole Again? No, different it is scary to think we wont be, but we need to remember that our life must go on, and he would want us to, his life ended , ours didn’t.... I’m just over a month in and the evenings are so difficult, June 2 will be Chucks 60th. Birthday! I am going to a friends cabin on the ocean and going to try and create a memory, this is not the club I wanted to join, but here we are and we have to push thru, words and chats and texts don’t feel like they are being understood in the moment but I feel they are, I have to believe that, just putting some words down is comforting to me, like purging, so just do what you need to, no right no wrong, just do. I send you hugs and comfort from my very lonely place in my home in Canada
My children and I felt like we were in a twilight zone after my husband died. The purpose for our lives was ripped out. I miss him so much. It was really brutally hard at first, and I am not fond of the additional burden which social distancing puts on us.
I know. I feel the same. He was my life. I don't do well on my own. He would always come up with ideas of what he'd like for us to do/go on the weekend if he was feeling up to anything. We'd just get into the SUV and take all these country backroads that he knew so well. I still don't know all that and I've lived here since 2006. If not for this social distancing stuff I wouldn't have been able to stay off work for an extra 4 weeks. During all my time off, I thought, well, maybe if you go get your nails done, since it's been years, you'll feel a little better....or if you get your hair cut....not happening. I would remember "the virus" and it put me back into my funk of fog brain.
