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Missing my best friend

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Jayhend96, Sep 4, 2020.

  1. Jayhend96

    Jayhend96 New Member

    I haven’t talked to my best friend in 5 months.. he made bad choices and he went always safe but I never thought I’d have to say that.

    They say he drowned but.. I don’t think that’s exactly what happened. I’ll probably never know for sure. That’s one of the worst parts you know? The struggle is not knowing and just wondering. Was he scared? Was he in pain? Did he feel alone?

    Did he know how much people loved him? How much I loved him?

    Then there’s the anger. How could he be so stupid? Was driving the car worth it? How could you not think? How could you leave me here, feeling alone like this?
    Any time anything happens, he’s the first person I want to tell. Good, bad, meaningless lol... but I can’t.

    Right before he died, he found out he was gonna be a dad. We talked about it a long time and I promised I’d be there and be the best auntie. I never really knew the girl and now I won’t even be able to do the last thing I promised him I’d do.

    I think I’m taking this too hard. I’m getting clingy to the people that I still have here and that I love. I think it’s pushing some of them away.

    I’ve never lost a friend like this before... and he will always be one of my best friends.
    I just don’t know what to do or who to talk to...