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Missing Mom

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by HankersKing6, Jun 23, 2020.

  1. Tryingtoquit

    Tryingtoquit Member

    Hi I'm at my support group today and I'm getting ready for a meeting, I'm really happy that at least I have this place to go to
     
  2. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Thank you. I’m glad something I wrote clicked with you. I’m glad you liked my idea of a memorial garden. I find it cathartic in multiple ways. I love working in the yard, the area I made into the garden had been a garden previously, life and work got in the way of keeping it up. Then I told Ron I’d like to make a garden again but this time let’s make it a wild flower garden. He loved the idea and planned to till the garden for me and bought me a big bag of wild flower seeds. But he passed away before any of that could happen. My daughter and I worked on it feverishly and we had a wild flower garden with the seeds Ron bought me. This year I wanted something totally different. I pulled everything out and bought perennials so they come up each year and put red mulch in. I’m happy with the end result. Making the garden, keeps my mind busy, gives me something to do and it’s for Ron so I think of him as I work on it. It’s good for my arthritis, plus it looks nice., and getting fresh air is so helpful. A win win.
    Please take care
     
  3. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    I love that you have a shelf dedicated to your Mom and some of her things. A few of Ron’s things I haven’t moved from where he put them down. And I carry his wallet and cell phone. Plus I wear a necklace with some of his ashes. Carrying some of his things makes him feel close.
    I hope your support group went well, and I can say in all honesty this site is very helpful. Read and share stories and come back often. We all know the pain and understand how you’re feeling.
     
  4. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    I ordered a memorial stone with my mom's name inscribed and below her name is says ..Thoughts of you are always blooming'. I love it and want to do potted blooming plants to surround the stone. Working in the yard is time consuming and relaxing. I am still constantly thinking of her and also praying for my dearest mother whom I love and miss with all my heart .
     
  5. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    That sounds like such a wonderful idea. I’m sure the end product will look beautiful and give you a space to reflect on and honor your Mom. As I continue to maintain my memorial garden it gives me a place of peace to not only honor my wonderful husband but help keep my mind and body active. I might have shared with already, sorry if I did. But I had a stone made with, Forever wouldn’t be long enough written on it, it went in the garden on our anniversary.
    All the best to you!
     
  6. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    I like that.... forever won't be long enough. I so appreciate our communication. Thank you again for being such a good listener and responder if you will. God bless you and have a great day!
     
  7. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Thank you, we all need each other. Being with people who understand and no judgement is comforting.
    This morning my brothers dog passed. She had bone cancer. She was his child. So a sad day here. Sweetest, loving dog ever. She will be missed.
    Hope you are doing ok.
     
  8. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    So sorry for the loss of the dog. Our dogs are 13 and we love them dearly. But they are sickly too. Hope your day was good otherwise. I worked in my flower garden and finished mom's memorial area. It has been quite tiring. Blessings to you! Be encouraged.
     
  9. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Thank you, it hit me harder then I expected. Possibly because my brother has been such good support to me and I know he’s lost without Tina. Our dogs are part of our family. I’m sorry your dogs have health issues too. It’s hard to see them sick.
    I’m happy for you that you finished the memorial garden you made for your Mom. It is a lot of work and tiring but certainly feels good. I hope it gives you some peace and a place to reflect on your Mom and all the wonderful memories you have. I’ll include a couple pictures I have of my memorial garden, it’s hard to show in full but here’s a couple.
     

    Attached Files:

  10. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    Good Morning. Beautiful flowers in your garden. I love them and the plaque also. Perhaps I can figure out how to send you a picture of mine. I pray you have a wonderful weekend. Take care.
     
  11. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Thank you. I’m happy with how it came out. I need to figure out the fencing to look nicer. We have deer in our yard sometimes and last year I had tomatoes that they ate and they almost ruined a Japanese maple tree I had bought for Ron on his last Father’s Day. Lot of rabbits too, I haven’t seen damage from them yet.
    If you click on upload file, then choose file, you can add pictures from your phone or computer. I always need to chose small or medium size or it doesn’t go through.
    Hope you have a good day and weekend as well. Gardening has been a huge help to me as I process this new life I’ve been given. I’m sure for you too.
     
  12. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    I tried the upload file but then I got an error message saying file is too big. Idk. Today is Sunday and it seems as though I miss mom more on Sunday than any other day. The sermons I listen to on line, the gospel music, even though I love hearing both it still.can bring tears to my eyes and a feeling of sadness. ?? Happy Sunday blessings to you!!
     
  13. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    That happens a lot. It’s frustrating. I have to do one picture at a time and have to choose the size. Either small or medium usually work.
    Thank you! I miss Ron every day but Friday’s and weekends seem to be the hardest days. We’d go get a bite to eat every Friday night and weekends we always had plans. Even if it was work we had plans. Now it’s just me, no one to make plans with. Hope your week is starting of well
     
  14. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    Yes my week is going well. Thank you. I can imagine it being hard not having anyone to make plans with since you two were so close. Sorry for your loss. U seem so knowledgeable about many things I feel inept advising you. I do pray your discomfort gets better over time, but never forgetting the love of your life. He is looking over you.
     
  15. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    I knew losing one of us the other would have an awful time. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it could feel this gut wrenching devastating. There’s really no word to describe it.
    Thank you, I do believe Ron watches over me. I can feel his presence. I’m sure your Mom is watching over you as well. Our angels if you will.
    Thank you for the prayers, it’s a rough journey we need all the help we can get.
    Hope you’re continuing to be doing well!
     
  16. PM0722

    PM0722 Member

    I completely understand! One week for me and my mom passing away. I called her all the time all day every day. I miss it! I forget she isn’t here when I find myself thinking I need to call and tell her something. I’m sorry for your pain
     
  17. Bmarie

    Bmarie New Member

    I just suddenly lost my mom as well.

    Hi I lost my brother at age 29 from motorcycles accident Aug 4 2017 and recently my mother at age 53 June 6 2020 From Stroke. I have 15 yr old sister who I now care for with my sons and my dad who’s had 2 strokes after the passing of my brother.I picked up my others ashes recently and I keep feeling butterflies in my stomach pain in my back shoulder and chest .. And I feel so overwhelmed.. My older brother hasn’t helped me with a thing.. I have to now find a bigger house to rent So that I can’t keep eyes one things but I have to get the deposit that’s another issue.. It’s hard to talk to my fiancé because he doesn’t know how it feels to loose someone..I’m only 34 and I know this is a hard year for most but am I having anxiety attacks cause sometimes I feel like I can’t catch my breath.
     
  18. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    I dont know why but Sunday is the worst day for me. I'm sad and I miss mom the most on these days! Lord help!
     
  19. Katkuhn

    Katkuhn New Member

    I understand. My mom passed away 8 months ago. The first month was the worst for me. I was in a lot of shock and couldn’t really think clear. It got better... but it’s still difficult. It’s so hard because I never could say goodbye. How are you doing today?
     
  20. Katkuhn

    Katkuhn New Member

    I feel similar although I can talk to my sister but she’s in another state. My mom passed suddenly also. I’m divorced and my kids are young and not real sad anymore. One of my friends can’t handle the conversation about death. It’s hard to feel alone. Glad I found this site